(while I’m making rules, if you’re requiring people to wear heels you want to continue to participate in society without being branded as a pariah, you are not allowed to have a cash bar)

This is stupid. If you’re claiming that you’ve never in your life told anyone anything you would feel uncomfortable later finding in the pages of a tabloid, you’re a liar.

Who the fuck gave you permission to freestyle?

This comment makes me want to drown you in a pool.

Ain’t no Cousins apologizing for butt stuff down here.

Khalil Mack was also an unannounced guest when he came in to sack Cousins on air because there was no one who bothered to stop him.

“It’s not about me. It’s about we and supporting that university that I love and I went to. But now it’s not about US and WE it’s about me. And I know we live in a selfish culture where it’s all about us, but we’re just adding and piling on to that.”

OH? Go on, please....

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

Forget it Jake, it’s Lincolntown.

Rece Davis should not worry. Desmond Howard’s a poser.

What might not suck: They opened a sensory room at Lincoln for for fans with autism and other sensory issues who need to take a break without having to exit the stadium. I know we are supposed to be dragging them but Swoop has headphones on and that’s fucking adorable.

Actually, isn’t the city’s biggest celebrity a fictional character from a movie?

The city’s biggest celebrities are all local news anchors.

“I mean, I’d never really considered it. What if I really am just a belly-itcher?”

Kirk Cousins’ career QBR is 15 points better than Fran Tarkenton’s.

2 preseason games per team. 8 regular season games per team. 2 teams.  Do you need a calculator?

A deuce is a deuce

close comments, we’re done here

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”