I usually just toss things in one of those laundry bags for delicates, put it on the delicate cycle and hope I don't ruin it. Because ain't nobody got time for that.

You know, I've been all over the size spectrum, for 8 to 20 and I have to say I think being a size 16 was the worst in terms of emotional shopping. With the smaller sizes you could go with straight sizes and with ones over 16 you knew there was no hope at any stores that weren't specifically plus size, so there was no…

My ex-boyfriend had a disturbingly accurate Mickey Mouse impression that he would pull out to tell this joke, and now I cannot unhear it. It was awful.

Confession: I still get confused between the Rock and Vin Diesel. I know that at least one of them seems really sweet, but I don't know which one, or if it's both of them. So confused.

My weird desire to know which celebrities are friends is fighting my weird hatred of watching videos. Is there a roundup of who celebrities are nominating?

My RA had a box outside the door with "Don't be silly, protect your willy" and a picture of a dancing condom printed on it. It was pretty great. Plus it also had all of the most fun condoms - glow in the dark, etc. If only I'd actually gotten laid freshmen year...

Oh my god, I never realized it wasn't "blew me places I've never been." Like, I never even questioned it, of course that was the lyric!

I put one of those locks on with my then boyfriend in 2011. That relationship ended up being as stupid as this whole trend.

That's fair. I just mean it's 100x easier than learning as an adult, so saying "I did it, therefore every immigrant should be able to do it" is ridiculous.

Well, as somebody who moved to the US from Israel at 6 years old without speaking a word of English, SHUT THE FUCK UP, GENE SIMMONS. It's really fucking easy to learn a language when you're under 10 years old.

This is amazing. I love it. I don't know why, but these guys just entertain me so much.

Things I like to put in my mouth: pretzels, peanut butter, buttercrunch brittle, sea salt, honey butter, dicks. This may be my favorite thing ever.

Please do!

I'm more interested in the picture of you in the park.

I want in the club!

Okay, so the interesting thing to me here, is how do you know how much money your classmate's aunt makes? In the circles I run in, it is generally considered impolite to talk about how much money you make, and I don't know how you'd even get onto the topic of an aunt's personal finances with an acquaintance. Jezzies,…

Related to both assholes who think they're keeping it real and condescending sexist pricks: people who misinterpret their total lack of emotional intelligence as them always being logical and you always being emotional. Nope, buddy, your emotions actually are playing a part in this subjective conflict we're having,…

Okay, thank you! I'm glad I'm not a crazy person, it was seriously impossible to find!

I remember finding out they were a thing when that adorable video/picture came out of her finding out she was nominated for her first oscar and he was there. I could have sworn it was a video, but google is only giving me a picture, so I could definitely be wrong.