to be fair, is there a person among us who wouldn't eat a pound of butter? Besides people with dried up corn husks where their sense of joy should be? That dog knows how to live!

Oh god my dog started to eat cat shit when she was on prednisone last summer. We started increasing how much kibble she got in an effort to discourage her. It didn't work and she ate a bar of old-fashioned all-natural tallow-based soap, with no ill effects.

No hospital corners? That's just sloppy, Goop. Have a little pride.

Next issue: How to wipe your ass (with authentic Egyptian papyrus).

This may be the Goopiest post to have ever Gooped. We've reached peak Goop. The world can not get any Goopier.

I don't believe in virtual hugs.

That is some righteous kindness on Taylor's part. Goddamn. Serving up love like it's cherry pie and making sure everybody gets a big ol' slice. Fuck me if that isn't lovely.

Thanks for chiming in, Jonah Hill. Loved you in Wolf of Wall Street. **hugs**

I agree with what you say, and I agree that the guy should be put in jail. It is never legally or morally okay to break into someone's account, no matter how easy it is to guess the password.

convert them or kill them

We are opposites! I'm a bundle of whimsy who is regularly reduced to tears by rainbows, butterflies, and Pixar movies, but her love isn't worthy of anything bigger than a 22 Jump Street proposal? Poor Amanda! Scrawling her a note on a napkin at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru that says "were not gettin any younger. marry me?…

So we can't text during movies but THIS is okay?

Fucking Facebook. Auto-playing video, location tracking, recording audio while you update your status. Facebook drains your battery and your life. All for the glory of Zuck and the destruction of your privacy.

Can we create a social media website where only really good news is shared?

Welcome to age 24. Maybe quit the Internet until you turn 30.

Over the past few weeks Facebook has become an exercise in feeling shame and disgust that many people I know are heedless wasters of buckets of ice water and/or sex crime apologists.

But how can the porn site legally hold the photos when they themselves do not own the pix? How is this not illegal?