I admire your moxie and willingness to tell this story.

When I go grocery shopping, I usually pick up a few extra apples or oranges so that I can give them to people in my large, urban town, and I used to see this guy in the same place every Tuesday, so one day I asked him if he preferred oranges or apples, and he said, "Clementines are my favorite," so I'd pick up a few…

Your President('s Twitter account) is feeling a little cheeky today.

To deal with bad behavior from a cat nip it in the bud.

It's alright, cat will get charged with an ASBO.

If this story doesn't win, the terrorists do.

This isn't really weird but I thought that I'd share it because I finally had an experience that made me better understand what women have to deal with every day.

A good guy friend that I spent loads of time with, knew my BF, etc... used to stay over at my place occasionally. He slept in my bed which I had zero concerns about, he had done it before uneventfully Except one time I woke up to find him stroking my face lovingly and getting thisclose to me. I pretended to stay…

I don't know which is worse...

On a late summer/early fall evening, I was getting ready for bed in my dorm room in Australia, where I was studying abroad.

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Uh, I think you're misremembering. It was ME who cared for his wounds and made sweet dirty love with him.

Someone get Kevin Bacon and a time machine back to 1984 STAT.

The best way to avoid anything bad happening to you ever is to stay inside your house with a shotgun 24/7.

I love how the dog runs away when the avalanche of balls comes towards him. It's like he's thinking "Aw yiss, got another ball, fuck yeah, got two- OH SHIT OH SHIT THE OLD POODLE DOWN THE ROAD TOLD ME TO BE CAREFUL WHAT I WISH FOR THEY'RE ATTACKING OH GOD"

Psh, when I get 100 balls for my birthday everyone just slut-shames me :(

But I like to post posts in the posts.

Hm. Older woman, doesn't actually take care of the kids or do anything useful, eats your food, will NEVER LEAVE (I had a bug for a while that made this happen)? You nailed it. Well, as long as this nanny managed to either clog the toilet or set the stove on fire.

Please consider the message in the headline. Vaginas already have an adequate number of holes as-is.