OR

You lost me at “inexpensive Yankee Candles”, you rich fecker.

I hear the sound of someone playing a 45rpm record of Highway to Hell backwards at 60rpm in my brain.

The joke among my friends is that if a guy’s good, he’s going to stay at Witty’s B&B.

Pocket for Chrome. Pocket is your friend.

I know I know I know! I wuv them! On his other back foot he has one pink toe and one that’s half pink, half black. The fur on these pink toesises is white. He also has webbed feet and he smells like corn chips.

Dog appreciation thread!

LOOKATIT

I used to call my dog insulting names while using a happy voice. Now I have a three-year-old who’s repeating everything I say, I use random fruits and vegetables. It’s actually, strangely, much more satisfying.

OMIGOSH

Terry Richardson photographs a young woman wearing a “my pussy, my choice” bathing suit.

PSA: If you’re too frank and open about your body, you may walk into the bathroom one day to find your three-year-old trying to put a tampon into her own vagina.

Please please please please don’t. I’m begging you, as someone who suffered from an eating disorder for years.

Cannot see his name without a voice in my head going “Shia THEBEEF”.

Why does everybody bash Brave? :(

I want an army of them. I want to be a crazy (meer)kat lady.

Every day needs more goat news.

I mean.... At least if you stray out of the royal pond, there isn’t going to be any inbreeding.

Hey, what else is a sceptre for?

*Clutches pearls*