Can I just say how much I am enjoying the secret droves of history nerds that have come forward? Bravo, hidden Kinja army.

HA! You want to know what’s more hilarious than that? William is nine years older than me. I remember a (in hindsight, creepy) aunt gushing about how gorgeous Prince William is, don’t I think? Heh, heh, Witty, maybe he could be your next boyfriend! But I was like ten and thought “....eeeeew, gross, he’s so old”. As if…

Pssssshaaaw I’m blushing.

CLASSIC Henry!

THERE WAS A WHOLE LAST NAME CREATED FOR THE BASTARD CHILDREN OF BRITISH MONARCHS.

Psssshaw. Look at pictures of a young Prince Philip. Harry is aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallll Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg.

“We once had a Crown Prince whose dong was so huge that he had to get it pierced and attach it to a corresponding piercing on his thigh to reduce his bulge, but shit this is scandalous.”

“It’s the biggest scandal the royals could ever face.”

*Clasps at chest in horror*

YES.

Wait, she’s going to be NINETY next year? I can speak for the whole of Britain (trust this internet stranger! Why not!) when I say she’ll forever be “sprightly, considering she’s 80” in our hearts.

I’m so in awe of her. I heart her.

The bars around it were the worst too. [Athens is] always filled with frat boy assholes with boat shoes and pastel shorts with like whales and shit all over them. The fucking worst.

Omg, Athens. Why do you never hit headlines for anything good?

I think I understand you but I’m lacking in caffeine today. Do you mean a stranger’s wife gave your BFF’s mother a kidney and you gave a kidney to that woman’s husband?

Sorry about Wales :(

I’m actually cheering for Wales or Ireland to win it!

I’m afraid I’m not the person to ask. I would love to play rugby, but I can’t run fast, I can’t kick, I can’t catch, and I’m terrified of getting injured. You may notice those are the defining characteristics of a non-rugby player.

I was serious about the open call- do you do the Twitter thing?

Finally back to the real world after my RWC vacation. I know, the world’s tiniest violin is playing for me.