I laughed and said “ohhhh, fuuuuuuck” out loud. In front of clients.

Shit, I imagined a group of prisoners being led slowly blinking out into the wild wild woods of Connecticut* while a prison warden whispers “you’re free”. Imagine my confusion.

HAD NOT CONSIDERED

Bone zone.

Shark week must be a-comin’, because hot damn, those thighs are making lederhosen look sexy to me.

Unfortunately, I don’t have longer than 30 minutes to run. I have 45 minutes from the moment I get home until the moment I have to leave to get my child from daycare. I’m already carrying water and sipping, and I already use GPS tracking (RunTastic, waaaay-oooo!), but I feel like I can’t run any slower than I already…

I do track my runs, and I know one of my problems is I can’t pace myself well. I try to run by effort level, and it always ends up with me starting out at around a 10:00-mile pace and getting exhausted in the heat. UGH.

My mother (not Australian, so I don’t know what her excuse was) used to eat sugar sandwiches. It’s as disgusting as you can imagine. Butter bread. Pour on sugar. Pour excess back into sugar tin. Assemble sandwiches. Enjoy.

And can we discuss fairy bread?

Sorry, let me make things clearer. What I’m saying is I seem to have periods of 4-6 weeks where life allows me to get out and run. I have the time, I’m free from injury and/or sickness, it’s not too hot, etc. I go out and run every other day and I run well. Of course, running frequently, my fitness increases. Running…

Okay, help me, Vitals readers, because my fitness DOES suffer when I take vacations. It suffers a lot.

You can hashtag this #SingleParentProblems and/or #BrokeAFProblems, if you like, but daycare. I split from my abusive ex, but all my family are thousands of miles away and my friends all work. I had to put my child into daycare. The cheapest daycare in my area cost me 35% of my weekly paycheck, but, luckily, ex was…

MOTHERFUCKERS

Wannabe-lawyer here. I think it has to do with the fact that where the marijuana was found can affect the outcome of her criminal case? i.e., if it was on her person, presumably she knew about it; whereas if it was loose on the floor in the car it could have belonged to someone else. I’m not a lawyer myself but I work…

Yo, British ex-pat here. I had my first (and only) baby in the US in 2012, so all my car-seat-related experiences were using US car seats. We then spent several months with my family in the UK, and the car seats are very different.

A 6’3” 300lb Scottish uncle “ate” mine. Traumatising as fuck. Never wanted to go near one again.

He was black and looked about 8 or 9 and already he was scared of getting killed by the police.

OMIGOSH

Good theory, but the ratio of assholes:non-assholes in this world is set in such a way that it’s cheaper to send the non-assholes :(

So I’ll leave you with a glorious finger-slicing story. Picture little 19-year-old Witty (if it helps, little 19-year-old Witty was 5’3” and 135lbs soaking wet), starting her first restaurant job at a fancy French restaurant. She’s all doe eyed and bushy tailed. She fully expects to be speaking in French with the…