Forgive me Father, for upon looking at the shirtless picture, I definitely just committed about seventy sins.

I have no opinion on Oprah, but I'm genuinely confused by this list. Is it sort of like her book club, in a "if it's on this list, it's a MUST-HAVE!" sense?

That gif is fucking majestic.

I know it's already been said, but that is the unsexiest thing I've ever heard.

Um, that picture is NOT SFW, because now I have to change my underwear. I don't know who this dude is, but now I want to know him.

Springs free.

....oh my god this is epic.

Fabulous idea. I wish I'd seen this before I tied a scarf around my head and went as Rosie the Riveter, gawsh.

I dressed up as Silk Spectre II one Halloween, back when I had a bangin' bod. I had a yellow leotard which I painfully (no, I don't mean painstakingly. The only way I could do this was while wearing it) sewed pleather onto to form the pattern. I made thigh-high 'boots' out of pleather sleeve-like things which I tucked…

I skipped Goat Man because I've read the comments and I already have a little bit of wee in my pants after the other stories. Started reading BFM, and got to the room that was colder than the rest of the house.

So, not everything's bigger in Texas?

*Laughs*

See you tomorrow, when you cover Fox News insisting that we're all going to get ebola because OBAMA.

The more I encounter other dogs, the more I become convinced that I do not, in fact, have a dog. I have a weird four-legged creature who cannot survive without constant movement and barking and excitement, and whose life source depletes if he is more than six inches away from you at any time.

No, I think you've hit the egg with the sperm.

Good point.

I see you couldn't choose between your top four, and resorted to bullshit "tied at first place!" tactics. But that's okay. You've just never had my grandmother's soup, that's all. So I'll give you the recipe, because I'm that dedicated to list-journalism.

Yeah, why is that? No way in hell I'm Googling 'why are period poops so awful' at work, even in incognito.

This isn't meant to be body-shamey, because it's a natural thing that happens to everyone, celebrities and the poor unwashed masses alike, but: am I the only one who is really uncomfortable with super-close-up shots like this? Everyone always looks so oily. Maybe it's because I cake myself in powder at every hour of…