Music store? What is this place that you speak of?

I also gave him road head after he bought me some taco bell and we did it on the trampoline at his parents house.

I've got some oceanfront property in Arizona.

Okay, playing for real, no comment on whether these lies all came from the same person and no comment on whether that person is the shitty ex:

EVERY WORD THAT EVER CAME OUT OF MY EX'S MOUTH.

"A lay-dee doctor! How quaint!"

Flashback to when SmallChild was just born and seemed fucking terrified laying there on my chest, and looked up at me with these grey-blue-green eyes like "mu— mumma?" and stopped crying.

Eh, I moved back in with my parents for a while (with then-husband and then-baby, woohoo!) and my mother refuuuuuused to let me cook for myself or do my own laundry. Not in a protective, mother-y "no, darling! I will do all your chores for you!" way; she didn't trust me not to fuck up her washing machine and stove.

I want to see some of this!

Copying and pasting my reply to another poster with the same question, but basically I think I was mistaken:

GOOD LORD IT IS YOU, DOUCHEFUCK. I just want you to know that I FAKED ALL THOSE ORGASMS and YOUR PENIS IS LAUGHABLY SMALL and yes, yes, your breath is absolutely foul.

Brit In The Ranks here feels the need to say that English people call those fancy moving picture things "films", not "movies". Hence, "film stars".

Um..... For real?

What I meant to say is I was hired as a male stripper to bang all the HAWT LADIES that needed a 16 year old. YES THIS IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH

Wait, my bad. This is the article I read. I think my brain connected "to the jury, police batons, helmets, fists and flex cuffs cut on March 17 were invisible" with "physical evidence was considered suspect but testimony of police considered infallible" and landed somewhere at "the jury didn't see the photographs".

You should consider living with my ex. You two would get along just swimmingly. He used to strip, allegedly, in a club that existed, allegedly, and hired him illegally, allegedly, and underage, allegedly, and would let him fuck ALL THE WOMEN, allegedly, and was never ever visited by gay men, allegedly.

If you're a troll, you're a glorious one.

Can someone with a little more legal knowledge fill in some gaps for me here?

GASP!!! What must Goop think of Angelina?

P.S. Hashtag yolo