I guess brunettes or blondes with brown/green eyes were exempt...

Yep, red lipstick is the stuff of tramps.

I just realised my burner is kind of an invitation for you to insert yourself into me.

Nothing but respect for you, also, and please understand that this is all in jest, but dude! There are some icky dicks out there! Admittedly I have never had a close encounter with a vagina other than my own (and how 'close' is arms length, anyway?) so I can't objectively say whether they are better, but when I think…

For most of us growing up in this culture our response to vagina, it's shape, colour and smell, is SHAME. My mother made sure of that.

She could have had a penis, duh. So long as she wanted to stick that penis in ladies, not men, and so long as she identified with the penis, of course.

That hair. Oh, that hair. I covet it.

THANK YOU. This is none of our damn business. What matters is how the daughter sees it, not what we think.

I know that this article is old, and I know that this is probably a little cruel, but I have to say this:

The rational part of my brain is saying "no big deal, there are bacteria all over the body" and knows that penis statistic is NBD.

I'm trying to come up with a startlingly witty pun about how pretty that man is and relate it to Summer's Eve but the best I've got is "fuck Summer's Eve, I want HIM inside me".

To be fair, though, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I love me some Dove plum and sakura blossom.

What... What are the soft eyes?

Thanks, dear :)

Y'all, THEY REPLIED.

I used Getty. I wasn't keen on just googling "pretty girl" in case I ended up with some poor girl's Facebook photo. I figured a stock photo is a bit different.

I 'applied'! I used a Getty photo, but if you happen to be a white brunette (only because that's what the Getty photo looks like) I'll hit you up if they want more ;)

All shall be revealed, my dear. I just applied ;)

I'm going to try to engage them for as long as possible, so I won't rule anything out.

IT SHALL BE DONE. I shall write my first Groupthink post on the experience!