I ran out of good Cardinals jokes after loss number 9. So I went to my all-time favorite comedian. I figure if Deadspin can do a series on Cardinals losses (which I applaud), then I can do a comment series on our saddest comedic loss.

I hope you’re not an English teacher because you don’t understand sentence construction.

Bubonic plague parties for kids.

I am sorry but you lack the ability to deliver criticism that is not condescending and vague.

I hope people read these comments. Decline the exit interview or keep it curt and positive. You never know when you meet someone again. Play the long game, not the short gratification. If they wanted to fix it, it would have happened while you work there.

You absolutely do **not** need to be honest and truthful at your exit interview, especially if that ”honesty” burns a bridge. You want to stay on the best possible relationship with your past employers and co workers. Trashing them will not endear you. If you can be reasonably constructive, fine, but lobbing bombs can…

I would advise people not to shit on their soon to be former employer or manager in the exit interview regardless of how ‘confidential’ it is supposed to be. You might need a reference, or end up working together later.

If you trust Jiffy Lube with your brakes, you’re gonna have a hard time stopping.

“But I have a feeling it’s far more likely that somebody went a little too wild with their impact gun and over-torqued the lug nuts holding the wheel on the car to the point of breakage”. You give them too much credit. My first thought was they just never put them back on in the first place, knowing some of the things…

UPDATE:

I like Jose Bautista quite a bit, but apparently I like him getting punched in the face even more.

Great timing for this post. In the last month, there have been two peer-reviewed studies. One says that extended use of Nexium can harden the arteries, and another study saying that it increases your odds of kidney failure. I was literally mulling when I would stop Nexium yesterday, so I was pretty happy to read this…

It’s wa’s my phone’s fault’s. Al’so I’SI’S i’s bad.

Lackey could reveal he’s a member of ISIS and I’d still rather have him around than people that don’t understand that the apostrophe doesn’t mean, “Look out here comes a fucking S!”

No, you’re right, and as a lifelong Cubs fan that Mets rotation scares the hell out of me. I don’t worry as much about the Dodgers for some reason, and the Nats, well... Dusty Baker. But baseball is a weird game, and a phenomenal regular season doesn’t mean jack in October. That’s the elephant in the room for Cubs…

Its braised, sliced Pokémon on rice or noodles.

for now probably the only thing to do is gape

Next will be a 9-month required waiting period.

Not the first time a dong and getting a little too ahead of yourself ended with someone not scoring.