We lost in the 2003 NLCS to the Marlins.

“Easy, you just don’t lead them as much!”

oh yeah, had a growth spurt from 5-foot-11 to his current height.

I wanna spoon the shit out of you.

First little kid I liked since however long ago that 2KY shit was.

“Ah reckon’ Texas needs ta elect a smart gov’ner a’gin.”

That bit may be my favorite thing ever.

Star Trek: The Quest for More Money.

Fuck Tom W. His favorite Cub is probably Milton Bradley.

I’m a Cubs fan,

Pinkham’s Law (Deadspin Edition)

I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter and make a generous donation.

That’s even worse, if that’s true. There’s nothing to forgive. Fuck him and his urine-soaked hands.

Agreed. I love seeing the “Win it for Bartman” signs and support that sentiment wholeheartedly. I want that WS win for him more than me and my fellow Cubs fans.

It’s already been decomposing for the last four years. Did you think that stink in St. Louis was from all the tear gas?

Fuck breeders. You are not special just because you raw-dogged it after too much tequila. And no one gives a shit about your awful demon-spawn.

That’s some funny shit.

Especially for a “civilized” society.

I’ll see your Zach Snyder and raise you a Michael Bay with Bob Orci screenwriting. When you call a bluff, you go all in.