I give this story 1.5 thumbs up.

At least she isn’t allowed to vote.

They call them scalpers to honor them.

It’s a shame that the organization eliminated the will call service but on the other hand they did institute the “Will Come” service if you just stomp on Dan Snyder’s testicles in a pair of stilettos.

At least he’s not trying to convince us that drinking Recovery Water can get you laid

“Sit! Sit!!! No more hot dog for you!”

“Well, where I come from, we do bark in the park every night.”

Sorry, dog. Eat your own chow.

Human: No way you’re getting my hot dog, bud. That’s called cannibalism!

If Pierzynski ever decides to finally retire, it seems like he could have a great post-baseball career as a member of the LAPD.

ESPN: “We feel that Mr. Schilling’s posting of the Confederate flag is unacceptable. The Confederate flag a symbol associated with a period of history in which a group of people were exploited without being paid for the own labor. This does not reflect the values or culture of ESPN or any of our broadcast partners.”

Maybe Curt just finds the idea of a profit inherently funny.

Honorable mention:

Ideally you wait until the gym teacher isn’t paying attention.

Dude’s 39 years old now, so I don’t know how much zip anyone can realistically expect,

“Neither can I.”

Rob Gronkowski: Oh no, a wasted Trojan!

“Ooh, I’m really sorry.”

Just another manic Munn day.