I don't know, Will. Every time I drink beer, I never have a working stiff.

Really, the fan just wanted to make sure Fritzler's i's were dotted.

Can you do me a favor and pinpoint exactly where in my comment you decided to just stop reading?

Wow, look at that incompetent figurehead strutting around like he’s doing something of value. Like he’s actually respected by anyone. How do you not have the self-awareness to realize that you suck at your job so much? That you should just quit while you’re behind? Seriously, just show some fucking dignity at this…

[inside jail cell]

You would have thought they would have seen this coming. Then again, the NFL *is* a non-prophet.

Interesting Deadspin fact: I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU RUN, YOU JACKASS also is a lesser-known part of that Utah baseball fan's diatribe at the dinosaur.

I don't know from the horrors of space oil, but I do know there's no reason to waste a single drop of the precious contents of your honey bear, which can be extracted merely by immersing the bear in some scalding hot water, or, if you like, popping it into the microwave for 20 seconds or so, which heat greatly reduces…

Good God.

Attendance at Astros games is just fucking soaring.

If it's any consolation to Yanick Moreira, based on his ability to lose a game with bad goaltending, he's just been drafted by the Philadelphia Flyers.

And they replied: "Do what again?"

Silverado Crew Cab and Corvette. Truck for hauling people and stuff, Corvette for fun

Reached for comment Monday, Tebow vehemently denied that he has evolved.

Turns out Tebow has been working diligently with Tom House.

I have a lot of questions about this tape, but the main one that comes to mind is, what kind of idiot would want to watch him play against random people in a Wal Mart parking lot on grainy surveillance footage when you can watch him compete against the best players in the world in high definition every Sunday on FOX?…

Decker, Harvin and now Marshall. The Jets haven't had that many mouths to feed since Antonio Cromartie was on the team.

My life's the same as before, but now I have a huge, bushy mustache on my face.

This is just one of many sick burns Azalea's been afflicted with as a result of having sex with Nick Young.

It would be a hell of a catch if you guys can secure it.