If SI was really noble, they would have put down Rick Reilly in 2007.

Jenkins: [sobbing]

Jenkins reported that, as Hernandez rubbed her back, head and shoulders, he softly muttered, "There, there, there, there, there". It wasn't until later she realized he was recounting all the places he'd shot her fiancee.

Hernandez: I've been through this death thing before. It gets better with time.

Let that be a lesson to you kids: if you want to be disoriented, woozy, suffer blackouts and have trouble standing on your feet, just get a concussion like a responsible adult.

The CFL is going to get one hell of a wide receiver.

I heard they're getting a Davidians too. It's not not a flagship store, just a branch.

I thought In-n-Out wasn't allowed at Baylor.

LUND: But what about all the field work I did?

Well, I guess now we know what happens when a rhino finds a hippo.

How can you hear his SAT score through a computer screen?

If it makes you feel better, at least we found the worst commenter ever.

People are not going to get this. Good luck.

It was Brett Favre. Brett Favre fucked the footballs, and they lost air. With his tiny penis.

It turns out that surveillance video captured an individual inserting a tiny pin-shaped cylinder, no more than 0.75" in length and 0.02" in diameter into the footballs, resulting in the loss of air. No surprise, then, that the person of interest is Brett Favre.

I, for one, hope this asshole feels the full brunt of the league's disciplinary process and gets himself suspended for like two weeks.

This is not exactly news Tom. Jay's sucked at home all year.

“-ulin, now.”