Seems like using it to search cargo at shipping ports would be a more effective and legal use but what do I know?

She didn't look that tan in here arrest photo. That has to be makeup.

Exactly!

Amateur! A pro would have used Access.

Craig's list would have been cheaper.

Speaking of sniffing glue, I still love Airplane! the best when it comes to goofy movies.

I'm looking forward to the point when all these attention whores become has-beens.

It's a lousy, cynical money grab in 3D.

Evidently, you don't know any Transylvania students. I've never seen a Transylvania student or graduate, for that matter, turn down alcohol—unless it was into their mouth.

And here they are sometime later.

If only Deadspin had mobile commenting, I could have posted my live on the scene pictures. But sadly, no.

My favorite is from season 1 of Firefly:

What a weasel.

Hmm...they looked pretty cozy to me. I'm sure forced contraception is just around the corner. It will be administered by brown shirts arriving in black helicopters. Any minute now...

This is almost as disturbing as those soft-core jock stiffing pornos that I've seen in certain gay establishments.

I would hope you've told this person you're getting their messages.

I can't think of an NFL celebrity performance that has been even modestly interesting since

And they both have the most adorable puppy dog brown eyes.

The one on the left has some serious drag queen eyebrows going on and the one to the right of Jeff looks like some kind of age enhanced version of Justin Bieber. Are these people family or what? Might my Jeff Fisher fantasies finally come true?

Proof enough for me.