So... exactly the same search terms everyone else uses?

I’ve always wanted to bulk up, because that’s the physique I happen to find attractive, and I CAN NOT find a good online website for women that doesn’t also perpetuate that same “Ooh, we want to be thin and not bulky AM I RITE LADEEZ!?” approach to physical fitness.

*an, darn it

This study suggests that cotton doesn’t prevent TSS:

Here’s and FDA page on tampons (cotton or synthetic), TSS, and some other common health concerns. In case you wanted actual facts and not a press release.

A good craft for anyone whose wedding is “Piss Christ” themed.

Someone needs to open a restaurant called “Eat It Or Fuck Off.” I’d eat there.

At the farm stand where I work, people will routinely shell juicy, sweet, crispy SNAP PEAS and eat just the feeble little peas inside.

I think the collective noun for P.U.A.s is “an axe.” As in, “I was at the bar last night, and I got cornered by an axe of P.U.A.s almost immediately.”

He has TONS of gay friends. They live in Canada, and he met them over the summer, and they chat ALL the time. Really.

I suggest “Pregnant Muslim welfare queens are taking our guns!”

If this guy writes an article on why a “large” orange juice is always the size of a thimble, I will retract every swear word I have uttered about him.

I screwed up an omlette the other day and ended up with scrambled eggs for breakfast. And I was going to complain about it, but I then realized; if “scrambled eggs for breakfast” is what I consider a complaint, then I, HijabiRockstar, am living a life most people could only dream of.

Ignore the hater-haters. You’re right, growing “most of our own veggies” is a huge time suck, not to mention that you first have to own or rent land to grow veggies on, which then needs to be made into beds where veggies can grow - that means wood for beds, or tilling, or even just hauling home enough cardboard to…

If we could find a way to keep funneling money from Tom McFuckery and his Batshit Squad, and maybe give it to poor, homeless gay kids, everything would eventually sort itself out.

He was just the pickled ginger, to refresh the palate between courses of oily, slimy, Devil Customer sushi.

Every time someone asks where I’m from and I say “New York,” their faces light up like I told them I’m from fuckin’ Oz. Then I say, “State. New York State.” And I can see visible disappointment on their faces.

I had a woman on the phone yesterday ordering a fruit tree, and it was loud in the store PLUS there was a bad connection, so I asked her to spell the name of the variety. She says, “T as in Tom.” And I say, “B as in Bomb squad?” And she says, “No, T as in Tom.” And I say, “P as in Palm tree?” And she says, “NO, T AS…

My husband came home last night after being away for two weeks and he’s like, “Hi honey!” And I’m like, “STOP TALKING AND HELP ME GET DINNER.”

A customer once told me, “I’d love to buzz my hair like you, but my husband’s ex-wife left him for another woman, so he wouldn’t like it...”