Bullshit, White Thanksgiving is ALL about celebrating how we stomped all over the Indians and “civilized” America. So what if it was invented recently? So were those Confederate statues, and they’re still racist as fuck.

Guys, I love you all, but where the hell were you for the last 20 years when people looked at me like I’m a doofus when I said these are my favorite movies?

Mary Jo Pehl (of MST3K) and some other people were trying to Kickstart a show about workers at a Ren Fair a while back. I don’t think it got enough backers, but it looked way better than this middle class mess.

I will now embark on a multi-year quest to bring you ALL THE STARS.

A friend of mine runs marathons and plays rugby, and she’s about 50 pounds heavier than my lazy ass.

I was bopping along to one of her songs on the radio the other day, unknowingly, and my friend is like, “Ugh, I HATE Meghan Trainor.” I’m like, “Oh, is that who this is? Am I suppose to hate this inoffensive pop song now?”

I have a vivid memory of watching Monty Python, and my mom refusing to tell me what a “poofter” is.

Never mind about that, where can I get a gigantic Noh mask for my wall? Is that something they sell at Ikea?

Hyacinth would not approve of Romans. Too foreign. And they would steal her 400-count cotton bed sheets to make togas.

Since rape is a power-motivated crime, then I think an act of forced penetration or sexual assault which “feminizes” the victim is still gender motivated.

I feel like we should turn this discussion over to an expert.

I can see that, although Americans also routinely pronounce sake “sock-ee.”

“I don’t think they took my side,” Fields told the Washington Post. “They were protecting Trump more than me.”

As opposed to written Japanese, which is very much “Fuck you.” *cries on Japanese reading homework*

My experience has been that grad students are often amazingly attractive and interesting... if you can hack through the dense wall of textbooks and paper drafts around them.

M.O.P.S. (Men On Patrol: Sanitation)

No one wants to date a graduate student.

“She’s a murderous psychopath, he’s a custodian for a major crime syndicate. But can their love survive these waaacky hijinks!?

She “relishes it” or she “revels in it.” She doesn’t relish in it. Dammit.