Right? I’m waiting for the day when every jerkwad in a jersey has to be able to play for the Cowboys before he can have an opinion on the game.

True! Is there an Oscar for Best “Holy Shit Guys This Is All Real”?

They can’t give the big awards to a movie that’s actually fun. They have to pretend that they’re about “serious” “films.”

I follow him on Twitter. I’m surprised her name isn’t Quinoa.

Right? Like, things exploded and then more things exploded and then Charlize Theron. What else is there?

But not for Visual Effects? C’mon son. That shit was epic.

Ignore the butthurt comments. You are totally correct; I wore Land’s End clothes my grandma bought me as a kid, and I will never recover. It was like wearing socks with sandals, but all over my body.

See, now I’m torn, because guns are bad, but shoulder holsters are sexy.

New law: ONLY gay Muslims can enter the country.

My university used to host fundraising meetings and prospective student gatherings in the air conditioned rooms, while the summer students were banished to the AC-less rooms, until a student fainted from the heat.

I was trying to make conversation with a distant cousin (conservative Republican, white, upper middle class) and I said, “What’s your favorite style of music? What really speaks to you?” And she’s like, “Jazz.”

Probably not any more than Republicans listen to what Jesus had to say.

I lived in the Adirondack for five years and I never had a damn snow day because of the crack teams of plow drivers.

Source material?

Unpopular Opinion: I think the Joker looks totally nuts in a good way, and I’m looking forward to seeing him chew scenery.

‘When I consider someone to marry, I have to find someone young enough to have children,” he says. “And the age difference...”

Noooooooo sexism from PhDs. Nuh-huh. Nope.

Oh, she’s a mom? Well then.

32% disagree that they have been asked to do these tasks.