To tell you the truth, I only read these articles so I can prep for the inevitable Cracked takedowns that follow.

Oh look... http://www.snopes.com/food/tainted/a…

A PENNY? That's not a tip. Pennies aren't money, they're just metal weights for pants pockets.

I'm going to start one called "Zoogloea." It'll sell aspirational scientific equipment and lab glassware. I'll start with a cashmere lab coat for a measly $4,950.

I was also under the impression that the remains were discovered by archaeologists doing a pre- construction survey (like you do in a city as old as Paris), not just random construction workers.

I would take Margo over Barbara. Margo is delightfully complicated. -_-

I know Mad Men is famous for historical fashion, but... that just doesn't look that "70's" to me. And I say this as a huge fan of tragic 70's fashions.

Give her a handful of horrible crabapples and a bunch of tough, bitter greens. We'll see how healthy she feels after a week of that. Maybe she can leach the tannins out of some acorns for flour while she's at it.

The Q.U.E.E.N. has already perfected the matador look, Madonna. Step off.

Do we even need more "awareness" of domestic abuse? Are people not aware of it? Can you imagine a situation where you're like, "It's sad when wives are abused," and your friend is all like, "WHAT? DOES THAT HAPPEN!?"

"Unfortunately, they mean that some people get sick and some people die," he said.

And grubs! You just can't get a good, fresh grub these days. I have to grow my own next to the cave.

I love him, too. It's going to take a while to reform the whole of the entrenched Catholic leadership, so I don't mind dealing with a few jabs about abortion if it means bringing people together on issues like FGM and climate change.

This guy, though. I love this guy.

Maybe joint irritation at a Texan lawmaker will be what finally unites the Jews and the Muslims in brotherhood?

I'm beyond driven.

FEMALE! FEMALE! FEMALE!

One of those mall salesman once offered me a hair-conditioning treatment in his booth.

Art changes. Douchebaggery is eternal.