It's fine. The Muslims don't want him. *shudder*

I like to point them toward ancient Egyptian mummies. Terrible, terrible teeth on those guys.

The photographer was like, "Come on, Johnny! Show some emotion! Think of a time when something irrepressible was welling up inside you, ready to burst out!"

I don't think they want her.

Oh Lord, I just came across one about "healing cavities" with "an all-natural diet" by "remineralization." (You know - all those cavities you got from smearing honey on everything for your "allergies," and never brushing with fluoride.)

I wear my hair just like that! I want to be closer to my childhood role model.

At my greenhouse, we buy our chrysanthemums from a Mennonite family with particularly handsome sons. They're so gentle and quiet, it's really attractive. (And it pays, too - all the girls go crazy and give them free cookies and sodas.)

Girl, you gotta get yourself a Muslim swimsuit. We know from coverage.

There IS a subsection of hippies that like to slaughter their own free-range chickens, so it's not impossible to get a hippie crowd in a meat-centric restaurant. (Source: I live in Ithaca.)

The researchers took a look at how many hours each participant spent and how many looked at porn versus religious sites[...]

The crackdown kicked off this week, and people are freaking out.

Don't be patient, it'll just stress you out. I slipped into man-hating-feminazi territory YEARS ago, and I'm so much calmer.

My impression of this article: "Hey, what's the deal with gingerbread houses, amirite? Also, fruitcake? What's THAT all about? Airline food is TERRIBLE!"

Yeah, I'm feelin' you. I'm teetotal (religious reasons), and if someone dosed me with drugs/booze without my consent I would be PISSED.

I was working the till at my local farm stand, line out the door and just me working (of course). I check out this old lady, and move on to the next person in line. Old lady's still standing there. "I'm sorry, ma'am," says I. "Can I get you something else?" "You're supposed to carry my bags to the car," she says. "I…

Now would be a good time for some old fashioned police inaction, you know what I mean? "Oh, sorry ma'am. We lost the paperwork. File that complaint again in triplicate, and we'll get right back to you... in 15 months."

No. No they did not. But they hope you might think they did.

Yeah, let's see the math on this one, Puxton Park, UK. Give me one solid graph proving your rules eliminated pedophile attacks on children on your grounds, and I'll call it good.

For no reason at all, I just like the kid, and I want him to do well.

Well thanks a lot! I didn't need to write that paper tonight anyway. *makes popcorn*