I know about myself that I'm a very sensitive and complicated person with a lot of emotional needs, perhaps more than is typical. And my mother was not able to meet those needs very well.

Someone once told me that if I did some pectoral exercises it would "perk" me up, and I spent a really tragic amount of time thinking I was some sort of saggy nightmare. Which is bull, because it turns out that my boobs are really great.

You are a hero for going where others could not. Have a cookie. You deserve it. My blood pressure thanks you.

I can only assume the weight of his penis will keep the tires firmly on the road.

My sincerest apologies to the crowd who cannot handle the word 'moist'.

Sounds like SOMEBODY needs to finish reading Edward Said's Orientalism. Maybe you guys should have paid attention in that pluralism class instead of playing beer pong at the Alpha Phi house.

They need to hook him up with this guy.

Is that the lawyer from The Addams' Family? I love that guy.

He will, though. And then he'll try to "neg" you.

Maybe he could pick her up here:

Fremdscham [German]; embarrassment felt on behalf of someone else.

When a friend of mine wants to eat one of her chickens she snipes it from behind a hillock. Headshot every time. She's basically the coolest person ever.

But the real question here is: What the hell kind of a pseudonym is "Sean Larson"? Sounds like a minor character in a Garrison Keillor monologue.

Organize my pantry in a way that "makes sense"? I NEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT.

I'd love to have seen a more in-depth report.

Not that the BBC is always a paragon of forward thinking, but I was surprised at how blatantly icky their coverage was. It was all "BLONDE Girl STOLEN By GYPSIES!!" without a hint of self awareness.

My sister-in-law (oldest of six) calls herself the "burnt pancake."

A customer once told me, in reference to my buzzed hair, "Oh, I'd love to do that! But my husband's first wife left him for another woman."

I always knew weasels were getting a bad rap. (I'm looking at you, Redwall.)

I would bro-fist you, but I can't figure out how. Would you like a sandwich?