So... You do that, Cool Guy Slim. And I'm going to continue using Abercrombie as a Douchebag Early Warning System.

You, sir-or-possibly-madam, crack me up.

I'm a size 10, and I am EXACTLY MEDIUM in every place I have ever worked and/or shopped. Making size 10 the "biggest" of any clothing line is, like the dumbest retail plan ever. Goodbye "uncool" money!

I'd say that's a pretty good association.

Because nothing says "great attitude!" like being a dick to people.

Speaking as a former girl, who spent most of her youth dressed as Indiana Jones (my little sister still hasn't forgiven me for making her play the girlfriend while I got to fight Nazis), I would just like to say that I'm thrilled that today's youth are continuing the fine tradition of not giving a rat's ass. Now if…

My thoughts about this, as follows:

I got to see her live once, and not only is she actually that beautiful, and talented, she's also amazingly sweet, and charming, and massively, overwhelmingly regal.

OH TOM. You fox.

That Doctor Who "tea" had better just be a mesh bag full of jelly babies.

OH MY GOD SOMEONE WAS MEAN ABOUT THE HUMANITIES oh wait, I don't care. No one seriously disses the humanities, except disappointed mothers who wanted you to become a doctor. I study Classical Japanese Literature, which is, like, the most humanities you can possibly be, and *I* take the piss out of me more than anyone.

I want to hug you.

I can't believe you forgot to mention DR. SCRUFFY BEARDFACE. He is the king of sexy.

It sounds like John just needs to renounce homosinuality with Overcome.

I vote we all do a sumo ring entering squat, complete with hand clap and salt toss.

Do like Eddie Izzard suggests and just DROP DOWN ON THE FLOOR. And then get a colleague to shout, "You killed 'im with your handshake! He suffers from Handsqueeziedeath."

Lesley Sharp in Bob & Rose was a very everyday-looking woman, and it kept throwing me. My brain expects funny, normal women to be sidekicks and comic relief. (IF THEY EXIST AT ALL.) And while we're on the subject of Alan Davis, how about Caroline Quentin in Jonathan Creek? Judi Dench and Geoffrey Palmer in As Time…

I love this. So much. My husband sings that song at me when he wants to be monstrously annoying.

Also, don't dress like a nun. But be low maintenance! Also, some expensive and painful surgery is a must. KEEP SMILING.

Ladies, you have NO BUSINESS wearing revealing clothing, unless you meet my extremely specific standards. But don't take forever in the bathroom, AMIRITE???