But guys! He recently trained five women! And they were wearing pink! That would NEVER happen with men!

Miss Hannigan is the ONLY reason for Annie to exist. I know I'm not the only person who can sing all of Carol Burnett's numbers, but still doesn't know what the plot is. -_-

I have a small portfolio, but unfortunately my line of work doesn't involve large projects or freelancing possibilities, nor do I own a backyard. My work is more in greenhouse propagation. I've thought about becoming a landscaper, but... well, let's just say my area is flooded with them, plus the idea of landscaping…

I've got a lifetime horticultural experience under my belt, self-taught, but that isn't worth a damn. What I need is a $100,000 degree on a piece of paper that says I am OFFICIALLY a horticulturalist. Does it matter that I know more about plants than my boss? No. Because she has the piece of paper. So I'm working a…

As Holly from Red Dwarf says, "An IQ of 6000, or the IQ of 6000 PE teachers."

Did anyone ever think it was weird that Calvin had the vocabulary of a child prodigy, but no one ever noticed? I think Calvin & Hobbes taught me the valuable life lesson that you can be amazing and no one will notice.

"Kids have an amazing knack of keeping sports safe and level"

I will play any game in which I can A) collect gold, items, or anything remotely sparkly, and where B) I NEVER EVER have to interact with other human people. Which is why I will still play Diablo II for hours, and yet the sound of someone playing WoW gives me hives. I play games because I hate human interaction, game…

Does this include gay porn? Because the male actors in straight porn are very often NOT on the slender side. Or the "attractive at all" side.

Ah! Beat me to it!

Ugh, too boxy!

These deeply spiritual discussions are making me hungry.

The concern-trolling "role models" thing always burns my briefs.

Because I was gonna go in for an abortion (everyone else was doing it!) but then I got this ultrasound, and I was all like, "HOLY SHIT, there's a BABY IN THERE!!?"

Hey girl, I know you chill with us. It's just some of your homies are makin' you look bad. (IRONY.)

I was doing a good job keeping the crippling cynicism down this morning, but then I got to "professional closet designer" and I lost it. :(

The food will have to be kosher, obviously. Do you think the Hindu sisters will bring some mango lassi?

The beard-y old guys are making a hash of my religion, too. Religious ladies, we should start a club! On Tuesdays we can pass out fliers and do some picketing. On Wednesdays we can have a bake sale to benefit oppressed women. Maybe on Saturdays we can have tea and interfaith dialogue?

The horrible, patriarchal white noise in my brain has the same problem with Jonathan Creek. (Anyone seen it? Good stuff.) My brain can't cope with a plot in which a brash, large-ish woman (Caroline Quentin) is a love interest for a schlubby nerd (Alan Davies). "Schlubby nerds get hot girls! Jonathan Creek, wut R U…

He works at a bagel shop, so I hope you also like the smell of fresh, toasty bagels!