... You didn’t read the first sentence of the story, did you

+1 Diana

This is every Chinese mother in existence.

Shields already hit a career low last year when he gave up Bartolo Colon’s dong, can this really be so bad?

[checks to see how John Ryan Murphy did in Triple-A today] Hey, 2-for-4 with a run, not bad, not bad.

Chris Gimenez has already pitched five times for a first-place team, so I don’t believe you are imagining it.

It’s, what, 12:40 a.m., and not too long ago I sat down at my TV to watch the Twins on MLB.tv, being one of those cord-cutters who can only watch the home team after the game ends. I plop down, turn it on, start speeding through it a bit, then I pick up my laptop and I figure I can go to Deadpsin, because there’s no…

To be fair, “Snoop Dogg, herb” is pretty much every photo of the man I’ve ever seen.

The whole thing about the breath was made up? Get the fuck outta here.

This is so good, I’ll overlook that he’s wearing a “Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon” T-shirt.

This makes me want to search for “Cyborg Sex” on eBay, except that I’m at work. Oh, the irony of it all.

Whoops, second. Oh well!

As always, the lesson here is: Don’t ever try to have any fun in baseball, ever.

Please, please, please follow this with a post on Steven Souza.

Best wishes, Ashley, you were fun to read wherever you were working and whatever you were writing about. Hoping you finally get to hear back from Jeb! at Wired.

And I still love this. http://gizmodo.com/the-creepiest-things-you-can-do-on-facebook-1683434172

Roger Moore’s death yesterday got me listening to James Bond themes, and I had forgotten how incredible this one is.

So did you

“Fuck you and your pace of play, Rob Manfred.” — squirrel, probably

Best wishes to Mrs. Erg and to you. My mom had a valve replaced three years ago and it scared the shit out of me, but her health has been fantastic ever since.

The family reasons being, “My wife hates you”?