You can have good stats but hurt your team... numbers do lie sometimes.

Professional requirement, unfortunately.

Maybe Kroenke is an Inspector Clouseau cosplay enthusiast who lost his hat?

... like so many sports franchises, want Canadian taxpayers to foot the bill

Guessing he doesn’t crush a lot, either.

We all cope with distressful times our own way. I responded to today’s Vikings playoff loss by taking a selfie with a paper bag over my head.

Dammit, Jay. [stars anyway]

For maybe the first time ever, I agree with Stephen A.

If we’re doing favorite Kanye West songs, this one’s still mine.

Eh, just skip it and go right to “Revenge of the Sith.”

Doh.

Laughing confidently before getting spun around and dropped on his ass? Tyson is just re-enacting his fight with Buster Douglas.

“No one likes to hear his mother insulted.”

That’s great.

The Falcons could have made the playoffs through a wild combination of circumstances before the game, but despite the win, they will be staying home.

Ryan Howard can’t hear your burns, Marchman. He’s too busy counting the money from his $125 million contract.

Merry Christmas, Deadspin. Please remember those in need over the holiday season.

Hey, flashback to my first joke of the year! 2015 went south for me after this.

Very well said.