I did not even notice the couple kissing. I thought this was just about one woman’s true love for pizza.

Cue “Everything is Awesome” as people get ready for work.

Hmm, remember the last time a police department/sheriff believed that “witchcraft” was the reason for a triple murder? Didn’t turn out so well...

CALCIUM? THE SOULS OF VIRGINS YOU FOOL!

Okay, it's all well and good to scoff at people wearing "tons" of makeup, but as a pizza face since puberty—until rosacea struck, who is a brunette with superfine eyelashes, heavy unibrow, and eyes on the small side, I have worn makeup pretty much every day for the past 40 years, willingly. I like how I look and feel…

Agreed. Plus, it's BECK! I could understand if Bey lost to Meghan Trainor or something, but Beck?! Be glad she lost to an actual artist, Kanye.

I don't get why he thinks he's the arbiter of all artistic Truth. Just WTF gives him the right? If he cares so much, he could just start his own awards show.

I'm currently jamming out to Sea Change but Odelay is a masterpiece.

So going around trashing another artist to make your point is "respecting artistry"?? Ok Kanye. Sit the fuck down.

You didn't hear? She's moving in with Burt Reynolds and he's paying her to comb out the knots in his chest hair. And, that's a lot of knots.

Utah's state motto has been "Grab your dick and double click!" since, oh, 1995.

DELAWARE: (nothing)

Oh, I know. I haven't been able to do it since I was 8 years old. Just lamenting life's wrong turns I guess.

This guy is so annoyingly smarmy I want to keep my Facebook account just out of spite.

I don't get it, if these are so bad for runners then why do all of the elite Kenyans and Ethiopians train exclusively barefoot and in barefoot shoes??? ANSWER THAT MR SMART GUY

He didn't deliver advertising circulars?

I have a few observations of Barbara Winfrey - she was an assistant principal at my high school.

Lindsay girl... I watched this episode last night. I'm sorry you had a miscarriage, that's unfortunate. HOWEVER... That does not excuse any of the behavior on that show. Once again, you fail to take any responsibility. You're trying to project it to someone else, another life, past life, not that kind of addict, I…

Why does this all feel like a big lie?

there are some terrifying, awful men out there that will in one breath call you the most beautiful creature in the world, and then—when you fail to meet whatever demand or expectation they've laid out for you—will say things to you that you're pretty sure only get said during prison riots.