Am I missing something? He acts like it's going to be a ball as soon as the pitcher starts to LET GO of the ball. He doesn't even wait for the ball to cross the plate before he's all "fuck this I'm walking." There's no way he could predict it was going to go ball unless they were initially going to intentionally pass…

Ortiz drops his bat and steps out of the box before the ball is even halfway to the plate. Once the ball gets to the plate, it's lower than the word "Boston" on his jersey. And he struck out by swinging at a ball that almost bounced. Papi has no case.

looks like Ortiz made sure that ump didn't ring him up.

Whereas I was indifferent to Manziel about 6 months ago, the way he's reacted to the obsessive coverage (the gigantic middle finger mentioned in the article) has made me a huge fan. People are saying he can't handle the attention? I think he just has a pocket full of fucks, because he's not giving any.

And, yet, Bryant McKinnie is still running through the okra patch. Curious, this off-season.

Can't we let this kid be an asshole college student in peace?? Stop bitching and fucking adapt, internetz.

Sorry, but as a fan I feel like there's no real comparison there. If you told me "Joe mauer will get killed tomorrow but the Twins will become a national brand and win 17 Championships" I'd pull the trigger myself.

I will never like July 27th. It will always be the day my ability to even attempt to defend what Bill Simmons has become died. I hate this day. True Boston Sports Guy fans know what I mean.

Thanks for making me feel like absolute shit, deadspin. Liriano has a 2.23 era, Cuddy is hitting 50 home runs in Denver, Carlos Gomez is the new Jose Reyes, and Torii Hunter is going to win a World Series. It's probably the worst time ever to be a Twins fan.

"I take Rick Anderson any day over a starting pitcher" - The Pohlad's

Worst I ever saw was a guy in a backwards Habs hat and a Yankees cape (!), in Toronto, at a Jays-Twins game. We was like Captain Douchebag, World's Worst Superhero.

We get the word "thug" from him: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thug_Behr…

I wanna say "Under Pressure" but that's not true at all because "Ice Ice Baby" ruined it. Plenty of songs have a distinct way of announcing themselves. Ten seconds is much longer than you think. Shit, "All of the Lights" says its title right at the beginning of the song. Kind of hard to miss. For widespread…

I have a friend who claims his girlfriend gives phenomenal handjobs. I responded with an incredulous "they still make those?" I further posited that the only acceptable way to give a handjob is to use your fucking mouth. But he swears up and down that these handies are the truth. Am I crazy, or is it just a plain…

Had poison ivy for a few weeks. It was terrible but is there anything greater than taking a schorching hot shower right on the affected area? It's like having an angel go down on you while god winks and gives you a high five. This has to be that first dose of heroin you keep talking about. Also, like heroin getting my…

The Yankees can suck it. They overpaid to get him to come there, knowing fair well that it would help them early on and then hurt them later when he got old. He won the World Series for them. Now he's old and they want out. They knew what they were getting into and owe him every cent. Screw them.

The Torx Screwdriver is saddened by the lack of mentioning.

"America Jr.?" Don't you mean North North Dakota?

Yeah, fuck that Canadian elitist. As long as we got the nukes it's a flathead and America Jr. can go fuck itself.

i've worked in construction for years, and my father has for 40+ years, and we both call them flatheads