Now watch as the man struggles to hit a ground rule double the rest of the season and is on and off the dl with muscle strains, ya home run derby!!

wtFFFF this is america fight in enlgish!!!

Tomorrow there will have been a lot of Twitter accounts hacked tonight.

Pro-tip: if you open with "I hate to sound like a jerk... Just stop. You're going to sound like a jerk.

Man, these people are going to be pissed if they ever find out that the United States is not the only country in America…

America the predictable, if I could take grammar school now I would have loved the opportunity to take foreign language class for anything because language is learnt best that way and is more effective; ESPN I do give them credit for acknowledging that nations watch Hispanic players religiously (along with Japan,…

First documented failed use of The Clapper while attempting to turn 'on' a woman.

Wait. Stop for a second. You can BET on this shit? As in gambling, which is based on randomness, uncertainty and probabilities. This is like betting on the outcomes of movies, or the daily plot of soap operas.

This guy is the Edward Snowden of things that don't matter.

The #1 suspect.

Despite his smug bombast, user Patriots2007 only went 18-1.

Ball me maybe.

Alright, it's on. WE HAVE NOW TURNED ON THE JOHNNY FOOTBALL MELTDOWN WATCH.

When choosing a wife, tip #1, she should not have appeared on America's Most Wanted.

What flavor Ring-Pop does she have on?

Like beautiful song, played on ugliest guitar.

the silver lining is that he's going to defect to the US after the match

And the previous time a Cuban national put Lead in the US, roughly 22 years prior.

And as a men's accessory, it's right up there. But not as good as Jules' Bad Mother Fucker.

He looks like he belongs on Jersey Shore: Bay of Pigs.