Whatever, it's fast, I get it. More importantly, how much porn can I get with it?

+1

One does not simply walk into the Grand Canyon with a camera on his back.

My headphones constantly get snagged on my regular buttons. So, thanks for making the problem worse, New Button Designer Guys.

This is like watching a segment of Mythbusters, only instead of insufferable dorks it's hosted by a sniveling douchebag.

The amount of masturbation that has likely taken place at each of those workstation is...irksome.

"Well, Mom, everything was going great on our European Adventure Backpacking and Self-Discovery tour when all of a sudden Tucker's head was wrenched off his shoulders by an oncoming train! Pls send more money! xoxo, Ashlynn"

I think the article sums it up pretty well, but do you have the same visceral reaction against inkjet printer cartridges? Everyone knows that the peripherals market is a massive industry worth billions of dollars. If you're a top manufacturer like Apple, why wouldn't you introduce some propriety in your own…

Cracking open a goddamn bottle of beer. Xanadu.

Whatever. With all the science that happened this weekend, I won't be impressed with anything ever again unless an Austrian jumps out of it.

Sir Isaac Newton disagrees with you. Mr. Baumgartner is reaching the ground, in one way or another, no matter what. Whether he is still alive when that happens is a different matter entirely.

Coming from behind! Really?

Knew this had to be in and/or around Dallas just from reading the headline.

Yes, but what a beautiful stadium we have!

Nah, just having a bit of fun. But there's generally an inverse relationship between the shelf life of long term franchise characters and film quality. Object lesson: Burt from Tremors.

Resident Evil: Retribution a/k/a Milla Jovovich's money assembly line.

Saints Guy's horrifying visage is second only to Steelers Guy's irksome Juggalo-like quality.

The time it takes to break from a task, answer an email, and return to work is staggering. I wouldn't be surprised if whole hours of my day evaporate in this fashion.

"Eat up Martha."

Why does the original Certificate of Title for Ivars Blumenau showing the car was titled in Georgia bear a certified copy stamp from Florida?