So they're really so superficial that they care about what type of pants Belichick was wearing? God, how khaki.

Things are looking up for this kid though, as Florentino Perez got carried away in his phone call and ended up signing him for €36 million.

the best way to get around it, we found, was to poke a hole in it

" The kid received a signed shirt, a phone call from Real Madrid's president, and some lingering trauma..."

Should have gotten a red card and a game suspension

After studying the area of the square whose side is the hypotenuse and realizing it's equal to the sum of the areas of the squares whose sides are the two legs, Dez Bryant was able to definitively state that, yes, his mother was a prostitute.

I can't even comment on his thread. It's too wonderful.

NETFLIX

I'd argue there's only one Indy classic

AMAZON

YAHOO

GRIERSONLEITCH

BEER ADVOCATE

PITCHFORK

YELP

Drew, even Aaron Hernandez thinks you ought to pull back on the caps a bit.

Next time, just Instagram a photo of the inside of your own asshole.

"AND LOOK AT IT GO, AND LOOK AT IT GO! IT COULD. GO. ALL. THE. WAY!!!"

I'm guessing that Berman failed to go all the way on prom night.

"Er...notice?"