Woman: I have scores of texts!

I think it would lead to the dreaded "escalated tension" between tow enormous, nuke-ready countries. It wouldn't be an act of war in and of itself, but it's the kind of thing that would make Putin yank his shirt off and fire practice rounds at an American flag while riding a buffalo. Then Russia invades our airspace…

[Reads story about well-known Republican up-and-comer in Washington being exposed for philandering]

Well this is not going to help move past the "cornball brother" conversation. Everyone knows Noodling is a rural Caucasian past-time.

Of course, he was "catfished" by an older woman: he's got no clue what a grass on a playing field looks like.

"This is the next Brett Favre story if not bigger."

C'mon, Tom. The last NBA player that could keep his pants on while visiting Las Vegas was A.C. Green.

Nuggets Guard Loses Nugget Guard

[re-reads comment]

Nuggets Guard/Joseph Smith Impersonator Jordan Hamilton's Magical Shorts...

ESPN: How much would it cost to fix this lens?

Thomas Smith: [heads to town office]

That's the most expensive lens destroyed by ball at ESPN since Stuart Scott's eye.

Asian Athlete Takes Stand Against Intolerance

Rules Official: "It doesn't matter that it's ESPN property. Play it where it lies."

Good job Kobayashi! Way to give 2%.

Score one for the home cream.

Judging by the grammatical errors and lack of punctuation in that tweet, I think McCarron also got in a fight at the MLB All-Star game.

Ah, but you have an avatar. That helps a tremendously.

@ESPYS