(Zobrist with Royals) (Royals win championship) (signs with Cubs) (Cubs win championship) (traded to Twins) (Twins go 61-101 and miss playoffs by 25 games) (Twins management shakes him to see if he’s broken)

in and of itself? maybe.

Benny gives him a Cubs hat and tells him to burn the fish hat.

This one time, there was a huge possum sitting on my backyard fence, and I side-armed a tennis ball right at it and knocked it off. Pretty sure I had that same goofy grin on my face. That was my World Series.

Just before the final out, my 95 year old grampa, veteran of two wars, cancer survivor, and long-suffering cubs fan, pulled me aside and, with a tear forming in his steel grey eyes, said, “The blacks ruined this neighborhood and your sister dresses like a whore.” This was for him.

If you’d like I’d be willing to tell you the niners are complete mess (front to back). Just because you have explosive diarrhea doesn’t mean you don’t notice when someone else farts in the elevator.

Side note, as a Niners fan I’m glad that Alex Boone is on a shit offensive line. He was the first guy to run his mouth on everything (“The team loves Harbaugh,” “Jim Harbaugh pushed the team too hard” “Colin Kaepernick should shut up and play football.”). I hope he’s on trash teams forever.

That’s like lumping “The Notebook” and “Anal Slutz Vol 8" together under “Romances.”

Imma give you a star for the jersey/shorts deets.

I owned two college basketball jerseys in my time...

Antoine Walker paved the way too. He’s working road crew on a stretch I-95.

If you’re asking that question I don’t believe your statement that you “get” this swap.

I’m sure horseracing and boxing fans would agree. And their sports have never been healthier or more popular!

admit it....how many other people clicked on this waiting for that crazy dude who gets bit by shit to show how bad it is???

“Urologist by day”

This is the hometown of your very own weekend editor. Just thought you’d all like to know.

We’ll have to watch the unedited 748 hours of tape to be sure this was a one time event.

“Ware’s house?”

Good thing he had that camera set up to catch any burglar who happened to bend over the foot of his bed.

It’s fine, the Cubs have a back up plan. Mark Grace is out of jail and staking out Lane Bryants in case the Cubs need a slump buster.