Sample Kia Telluride markup items:

These discussions always inevitably break down into “my priorities are better than your priorities”! People value different things...that’s just the way it is. I don’t drink, spend very little on concerts or entertainment, because I want to drive a nice car. I still probably spend too much on it, but I love driving and…

I’m pretty sure Tommy Callahan did the best explanation of cheap vs expensive brake pads ever

*Eight Mile theme song starts*

a bumper wench

But what if they did?....

For the last time, Rex Grossman is NOT coming out of retirement!

...Sir, this a Wendy’s.

Am I the only one who watches that video and thinks that the guy racing the fridge is in on the gag?

You should be banned from this site.  

I mean, that’s science, the ears emit the most sound of all our holes.

Monterrey, CA?

I believe the correct jargon used by the kids these days is, “yeet”

Can you imagine lucking into a situation where you get to ride LeBron James to a championship, then being out of work for a year because everyone knows you’re not that great of a coach and you rode LeBron James to a championship, and then, because the front office of a team trying to ride LeBron James to a…

People that don’t like golf probably played once and sucked so bad that their friends never asked them to play again.

Ha! Dude probably bids two notrump while in the East seat with only four tricks. Am I right? Am I right?!?

To really put the duration of this contract into perspective, when it expires, R. Kelly will try to have sex with it.

As someone who has looked Roy Halladay dead in the eyes via my young brothers Sports Illustrated For Kids posters I’m 100% confident he wanted to be inducted into the HoF as a member of the Phoenix Coyotes.

You’re making those names up.