Teddy Two Gloves had a great day, but is a mediocre NFL QB at best. If the Vikings are relying on him as the franchise QB they will be sorely disappointed. Not too long ago Vikes fans thought Christian Ponder was the answer. No joke.

They only had 6 guys on the field? No wonder he tore them a new one!

And that really inhibited Bridgewater’s ability to beat an awful Bears defense, didn’t it.

The Decemberists were on the Simpsons, did a guitar-off on the Colbert Report, get talked about endlessly at the AV club...they’re not exactly obscure.

the lexus middle-management.

That's an old school card. Everyone knows he got demoted to the bullpen in his sophomore season.

Some great players have come out of the California Penal League.

“Can I just stay out of this debate? Aaron Hernandez is a good friend of mine. I have known him for a long time. I support all my friends. That is what I have to say. He’s a good friend of mine.”

Geeeeeeeeeeez

By this logic Odell Beckham is presumably a figment of our imagination.

I’m just kidding. I...I don’t have a job.

I’ll sell you my 02 Viper for less than the price of this used Hyundai and it comes with an engine and clean title!

“Yesterday we did exactly what you think we did. But it wasn’t what you think. It was precisely what you thought, but we don’t do that.”

In DC, this logic makes perfect sense. Just think of @redskinsfacts as a Super PAC for the Washington football team, and all of your accusations vanish into the wind.

The fact you didn’t include the guy eating eggplant parm by himself is a crime. I know it didn’t quite fit the theme, but goddamn, it was the saddest story ever.

By “Holiday” do you mean the Good Friday when I hooked up with super hot Alex? Or the Easter Sunday when I met him at the family brunch and learned he was my dad’s half-sister’s son?

Right after my divorce was final, I traveled back home for Christmas. A few old friends found out that I was in town and wanted to meet up for dinner and drinks.