Long story short: I got kicked out of the bar my company had reserved for it’s holiday party for having sex with a co-worker in the bathroom. I am not a smart person.

I’m gonna guess she’s hot.

I’d like to impose the SR20 rule on this

Sage Northcutt sounds like a brand of bacon or chewing tobacco.

That’s why we elected a super liberal Governor right? Legalized Gay Marriage. Defeated Voter ID. Rank in the Top 5 in tons of “Best” lists. Readers, Bikers, Education, Income, Quality of Life, For Business, for LGBT Citizens, Unemployment, Median Income, Poverty, etc., etc.

I had no idea Buffalo was seeing so much job growth.

I grew up working at a flooring store that my dad managed. Once when I was 17, spent Friday night with some friends getting shitfaced at somebody’s house until 4 or 5 AM. Saturday about 9 AM, my dad calls and needs me to come in to work because 2 guys scheduled had laid out. I told him I wasn’t feeling well (truth)…

Well, this one time in the ‘90s, my family went on vacation. We have a big family, and a winter storm knocked our power out, and somehow the person in charge of making sure we were all in the airport shuttle miscounted. So I got left home alone for a couple days. No biggie, I found some cash for snacks and pizza, but…

Also there was this:

Are you a cop?

And it regards to that quote, he only said that because his mother did.

I don’t think I’ll ever get implants but fuckin right am I gonna get a boob lift when I’m older, cause these puppies are weighing me down and bumming me out. Something natural looking, obvs not gonna be 50 with tits to my chin. But fuck if it makes you happy, then do it. I know plenty of women who tell me they got…

I wonder if things like “lost sole” and lobbing random, unnecessary insults on the Internet have anything to do with why you will be spending your Friday reviewing documents for $20 an hour? Nah.

I ran the VIP door at a night club in Minneapolis during KG’s hay-day. Worked with pro athletes every day. No one was more polite, tipped better, or was more respectful than KG. Sadly, he was the one that went out the least. When he did, he would show up, pay for his teammates tables, and leave 30 minutes later. Never…

but we’re not talking about you. We’re generalizing so we can dislike a certain group of people based on some internet based idea which may or may not be true...

Why did you get married when you were 16?

Sometimes what doesnt kill you probably should have just killed you.

I have a Fantastic Thanksgiving story:

I walked in on my parents burning off some calories after the meal.