Guy, raising head slightly: So will you marry me or not, babe?

That's really generous of Chase. Guess he has a lot of money or something.

I sure hope this catches on. Our Rock Em Sock Em Rondos aren't selling for shit.

The same thing happened to me when I thought about the unfathomable horrors of the Battle of Chickamauga during a high school wrestling match.

Sad. When that ball hatches there's going to be 3 to 8 more hungry, motherless iguana infants in the world.

Guess I'll put my jersey in the attic for a little while. Just doesn't seem like a good time to rep. Pat Garafolo.

According to the Saints Ahoy customer service hotline the rooms are $579 a night, but you should consider yourself lucky if you don't end up paying with your life.

.

Special isolation is pretty much the same as regular isolation except for the xbox.

Let's dust those buns for Prince.

♫ Lookin’ around the house,

Oscar Pistorius Breaks Down In Court

Lawyer: I know this is difficult, but could you please show me on this diagram how many selfies you took with Rob Ryan?

Angel / Deadspin Enthusiast: [Shuffles forward in dinner line at the Cafeteria of Hosts, checks deadspin on Lord-issued iphone 3s]

It's pretty difficult to turn a garter snake into a python. In fact, I have no idea how to do it without using magic.

Hey Tim! The 1830's called and they want their goalie helmet back! Well, they didn't really call, because there were no phones in 1830. I was just making a joke because your helmet looks like a relic from another time. The 1830's did, however, send along this small leather satchel of fox meat and gunpowder. So, here…

I dunno about this...I think I'm going to stick with the gasoline-powered Scott Steiner Signature Series device I've been using for years.

I'm getting pretty sick of hearing about Cosby's bulge.

"How was it, rookie?", asked Magic Johnson as his teammate exited the full-service massage room.

Aw, shucks!