Wait what happened, guys? Anything momentous? Oh. Shit. That much pride? Really wish I could have seen that.

Kate Hansen Packing List: Sochi '14

Mark Brunell suspects that Michael Sam is a marijuana user.

"I didn't want any charges, just for him to be scared (witless)," Fish said.

This is pure baloney. Brunell enjoys a hot-take 'n bake more than anyone else in Bristol.

Water: [breaks]

Figures this would happen on the one night Kurt Rambis doesn't have his 1986 game jersey/shorts/goggles on under his suit.

I'll bet Kenneth gets over this humiliation in a day or TWOOOOOOOOOOO.

See, you guys! In Tahoe!

With skin like these guys have, cradling a ball is a two-man job.

Sad to see adult onset diabetes and a failed name change derail The Big Game's rap career.

members of the Giants staff—including the locker room manager and equipment manager—would regularly distress jerseys

Cool calendar, but that color scheme's not going to fly in Sochi.

Cellmate 1: Just a few more minutes, dude. I'm almost finished with the 's' on 'Coyotes'. I nearly flubbed that 'e' in 'Phoenix', but I think it came out alright. Looks pretty good if I do say so myself, spreads nicely across the chest. I might even try inking on the outside if I ever get out of here. Did you know…

The North Koreans tried the same thing, but kept running out of heads.

He doubled his digits?

I like to accompany this song with heartfelt air-fluting, but it works with pretty much any air-woodwind.

Ma: Now Vincent, are you going to get overexcited from driving around in your new Toyota Camry and dance nude in the streets of North Philadelphia again?

I'm glad The Weather Channel was able to get some boots on the ground in NC. Viewers desperately need to know if the storm will affect the "Oh God please help us, we are in Fayetteville and it's fucking awful" t-shirt industry.

Uncle Sam: repping checks and balances / slaying pussy since 1776.