Except on Tuesdays. Then está muerto para ti.

The reason Hope Solo never tried out for the NFL is probably due to the elevated injury risk.

I mean, I’m pretty sure a bigger reason is that the Pats won it 15 years ago.

Not every NFL quarterback can have the career longevity of RG3.

What is “David Tracy and the Rusted-Out Road Trip”?

So what if he tried to hit Hyde?  He’d have like an 81.7% chance of missing anyway.

Depends on what you like to drink.

Seventeen measly days in Washington and now he’s just another mediocre white guy working for Russia.

In the spirit of reciprocity, Rep. Omar should offer to sign Sen. Paul up with a lawn service.

His secret is that he’s been living with former NBA journeyman Shelden Williams, but for years has had a crush on Penny Hardaway, who lives across the hall.

I didn’t even know Sam Presti was married to Piper Perri.

Why on earth does the president of the Seattle Supersonics fan club live in Virginia with a Georgia-based cell number?

Well, this should at least satisfy the purists who for years complained about baseball analysts judging players like Addison Russell, Odubel Hererra, and Roberto Osuna without having the benefit of personal experience.

Jurassic Park. My grandmother was killed in a car accident a week prior to the opening of the film, and I was the only family member living in town when the accident occurred. When the time came post-accident to go to the junkyard and try to salvage personal effects, retrieval of the license plate, etc., it fell to…

I imagine the penalty for Richie was so light because he explained to the league office that he just wanted to honor his dad as his hero, like Ted Williams.

If so, maybe the best thing to do is to have a talkk with the manager at a time that is not busy (like 3ish) and ask if there’s any way to perhaps add tiered pricing for salads and/or sides offered ala carte, as you love the restaurant, but don’t feel it has enough meat free options.

But a happy day for the New York Post, who could pen the headline:

I think what we’re all really more scared of is a world in which we look enough like our driver’s license photos that we match on facial recognition software.

Seven dollars’ worth of (Gruyere) cheese for two slices of bread is a little out of my price range.