Really, just avoid any place with black leather couches.

But how can they lose to the Pens in seven next round if they don’t win this series? Your narrative makes no sense.

Figuring out your pun was like going on an Asiatic wild dog chase, but after finding a couple of websites, I kept clicking lynx, and before I knew it, I was down the rabbit dhole.

Thank goodness my wife’s chiropractor only suggested she “cut back” on the gluten rather than go completely gluten-free. ::eyeroll::

The most heartbreaking aspect of this story is when her two dogs, Raleigh the chihuahua, and Juneau, her Siberian Husky, find out that she’s been cheating on them by ogling pictures of some strange bulldog on her phone. If this inceident hadn’t occurred, they’d have never known about the photos because touchscreens…

Of course not. Bookburning is only accomplished by tools that Kindle Fires.

God wouldn’t have so much Work on his plate if he’d just dial up a few lightning bolts while someone’s got a 7 iron in his hand.

You don’t even want to know what she wanted to do with the Astrodome once the baseball team moved out.

“I know you want to push. Just...let’s just get downstairs, okay? We just had these carpets cleaned.”

It’s like my mama always said: if you want to hate the blacks and Jews, don’t take a job coaching basketball at a college founded by Jews.

Yeah, but they’re supposed to ascend into Heaven after that. If Heaven is more than six inches off the ground, Perkins is going to have a problem.

Many dead, including women and children, in mindless CHEMICAL attack in Syria.

Hmmm...

So you’re saying Rendon has escalated his behavior from looking like he was going to throw a bat, to tossing it casually away? If this trend continues, I’m calling it: in 2024 Rendon will murder an ump on the field.

Foster just can’t stand a covered ear.

All y’all are just crazy. Carrots, honey, sour cream, mozzarella, and a radish. That’s all that belongs on hot dogs, and anyone who believes otherwise is a heretic.

And then I hope that other students step forward and sue the school for sexual harassment because it has no pants on.

Not sure contacting my representative is going to do much good when the closest Congressional district whose officeholder isn’t directly assisted by the right-wing slant of Sinclair’s message is literally 350 miles away, but hey, sure, whatever. It’s not like I’m not already on “The List”.

Why the hell is that program not named “Wawa Wewards”?

Because almost no Western nation allows death as a criminal sentence.