The only way I could get through them was by disassociating and focusing on the stupidest thing: it doesn't even rhyme properly.

I saw it in my local paper. Under some headline about it being inspiring. But I'm not surprised it hit the Daily Fail, it seems like their kinda thing.

The worst thing about this is that (if she's the woman I'm thinking from) she's from my town. My town is famous for nothing but Ricky Gervais and her now. Well done us -.-

I've never eaten meat in my life because my parents are vegetarian, and I chose to follow them. I've never tried to convert anybody because I feel I don't have grounds to because I don't know what I'm missing. The most common response to people who find out I'm veggie (normally when it's awkwardly bought up in a…

Yeah, it is proper nasal! The one that makes people actually say "Get me tho, moi loverrr?!" (I have seriously heard that!) It's apparently cause Reading was the largest town between London and Bristol for ages, so we have a kinda merged accent in places. Mixes the glottal stop and inability to pronounce "th" with a…

He writes for the Telegraph. Ignore! He's a dick like most of the people who come into contact with that rag! Being posh and having a posh accent is only a bad thing when you say things like he does! Besides, I know so many accent chameleons from the UK, and I'm one of them. I sound Northern with my cousins,…

It's the Daily Telegraph. Disregard, most of the people that read/write it have a limited grasp of reality.

Hagrid's not Northern! He's West Country if anything!

Probably depends who you hang out with. If you want to be friends with David Cameron and his ilk, then poor upper class. Anyone else? Money trumps class in the current situation I'd say. There's a kind of universal hate for anyone who acts too posh, but having money is fine as long as you aren't a dick about it. (Hope…

"'Yes, why aren't you married yet, Bridget?' sneered Woney (babytalk for Fiona, married to Jeremy's friend Cosmo) with a thin veneer of concern whilst stroking her pregnant stomach.

This is the most hilarious thing I have read that isn't Terry Pratchett! Congrats for some superb reporting on this serious issue :P Please send this to Cosmo XD

This needs so many stars! Hooray for science!

I need this. I've done newspaper nails. Now I need this.

I liked that a lot of my friends refused to put the selfie up but donated, and often donated more than those with the selfies, some of whom completely missed the point by not donating. One of my friends actually pointed out that this wasn't a Cancer Research thing originally as well. It was apparently a different…

Yup. My favourite one was working in one of a famous chain of department stores in the UK when it was being renovated. Some of the lifts were out of order because they only stopped at one floor and the area they stopped in was literally a building site. There was a huge, eye-level sign standing in front of the lifts…

Sound in the middle ('eu') is the same as the 'oi' in 'moist'. Then the 'ch' is the classic German soft but gutteral, back-of-the-throat thing, as in 'ich'. There's some people saying it here: http://www.forvo.com/word/feucht/

The German word for "moist", "feucht" is somehow even worse.

You don't have to talk about sex whilst having it, you can talk about it any time. And, as I said, I can't speak for everyone having sex, I don't have that kind of experience, no one does, but everyone I know is happy to talk about it because that's how you get good sex and don't get into awkward consent issues. Most…

That's definitely true. I wish we could have more open discussions about sex and porn, because communication is the most important thing in sex. When we don't talk about it, we don't teach teenagers to talk about it properly. Having said that, there are sex-ed packs in the UK which teach about masturbation and it…

I don't know any woman who wouldn't be happy to show a man what to do in bed. The basics aren't hard to grasp (I mean in terms of penis can go here, fingers here, tongue here etc.), after that it's pretty much personal choice so it's nice to be asked. Both my boyfriends were virgins when I met them. One thought he…