OK, "sparring" is not really the right word (they didn't use it in the class). There was no conceit that the police officer was actually trying to fight you; it was completely represented as merely a chance to try out the things you learned against a real person. They didn't teach "karate" type moves - it was all…

Check if any of your local universities offer it. Even if you're not affiliated with the university, they are usually open to the public for a very small fee (at the uni where I work, it's $10).

But sadly, it's not in any way romantic.

Yeah, I definitely don't feel like the single day really taught me how to fight with any particular skill (though there were a few tricks about twisting your arms out of someone's grasp that I thought were surprisingly effective). I think it's more about having the confidence to do something, anything. They…

In the actual RAD program, they spend a full day on physical defense strategies, sort of like a crash course in martial arts defense, and the culminating experience is to spar against an actual police officer (in heavy padding).

I agree. I don't think the manual they are describing here at all matches up with the actual experience I had with participating in this program.

I actually participated in the RAD program last year, because my boss arranged for all the woman in my department (at a university) to do it. There was some questionable and paranoid material in the verbal part of the instruction, but I should emphasize that over half of the program consisted of physical defense…

Oh, I doubt this guy realizes even now that the embarrassment he is feeling is in any way related to what he did. Not sure it has much to do with his privilege though.

My entire life experience contradicts you. I hate being told to smile by random strangers as much as anyone (obviously I don't walk around with a smile plastered on my face when I'm walking alone), and I agree that it is unfortunate that there is a greater expectation of constant pleasantness for women than men. But…

Well, I think you can train those things to a certain extent, but it has to happen in the first 10 or so years of life.

Well, if it makes you feel better, somehow I never got that conditioning. But I don't feel like it was a blessing. I didn't realize until college that the reason no one ever liked me was because I was frowning all the time and never seemed like I was having a good time. In my early 20s, I made a conscious decision…

That seemed an odd reaction to me as well. "I can't believe the government hadn't racially profiled us to such an extent that they were maintaining the level of constant surveillance on us necessary to prevent this from happening!"

OK. Thanks for clarifying :)

Yeah, it's possible. But I've certainly been in the position of having a server simply mishear/misremember what I said, and then act like I'm some fickle idiot who keeps changing my mind.

A lot of people just like taking the other side when everyone is piling on without adding anything new. I do. But the only one I'll defend here is that the barista could have simply misheard the word "skinny" - since there is nothing else wrong with that customer, and she seemed to have no interest in low-calorie…

"If you don't have any direct experience, don't pretend that you do..."

For a lot of the jobs I've applied for recently, the cover letter was not required or requested. I usually still submitted one, but I just had to upload it under "Other Documents" because there was no specific place for it. (Yes, these were full-time office jobs with salaries and benefits). I think maybe companies…

Ha! Your tiramisu girl could practically be me. My top flirting strategy always seems to be baking things for guys, and it doesn't seem to have a high success rate for me either. So you're not the only guy who sees a plate of flawlessly arranged dessert presented to him with well-manicured hands and just thinks,…

I'm talking about the study and the social theory that was discussed in the article. I'm not sure what your statement has to do with anything.

Is it possible the difference is caused simply because women are socialized to be more overtly friendly? A lot of women seem excessively friendly to me when I first meet them, smiling constantly and asking me a lot of personal questions; if I were a man (or if had some reason to think the women were likely to be…