So how was the concert?

I met this girl and went back to her apartment. We started hooking up and she kept say, “I don’t have sex with men the first night I meet him”. I used my leg to dry hump her and it got her to hump, hump me.

When I go running, I fart. A lot. Normally I am running by myself so I just let them rip without shame, or until I am at least far enough away from the person running past me to claim a smelt it dealt it situation. So one night I had gone for a 5 mile jog at this park near my house (shout out to Green Lake) and I…

Let’s celebrate!

Thanks. I know, it’s odd to me that he’s doing so much. Right after all the festivals he’ll be doing his official King of the Fall tour, but, before that he was...touring (?) because I saw him back in April...(or was it May?) in Jersey when he did the Borgata hotel. Maaaaan he’s just getting his money I suppose.

Omg Have fun! I’ll be there at Made in America this weekend...for the Weeknd...(not gonna lie, Beyonce there too!)

musician/dancer/lovely person/robert pattinson dater/my imaginary bff

Thursday is my shit....

Are you going to made in america?!

House of Balloons is one of my favorite albums EVER.

One of the pros to discovering an artist a few albums deep into their career is that all of a sudden you have this library of awesome music to listen to and its all new and great.

I’ve been listening to him since his first mixtape, and it blows my mind how famous he has gotten. If you had told me he’d be making #1 pop songs, I would have laughed in your face. But! I’m so glad he is.

You probably will! He usually does a nice mix of old and new.

Yes, far better than I’m capable of, frankly.

I tried to fight it, I did, but I LOVE THE WEEKND. I forward through everything on Spotify these days until one of his songs comes up. He has such a douchey vibe, and that hair is ridiculous, but goddamit he’s talented and I love him.

That scene is everything to me. I mean, was there ever a more perfect scene in all of 90s television?

Nope. I was team Sharon Cherski for Angela’s best friend. Rayanne didn’t deserve Angela post-betrayal. You had one job, and it was to not fuck the person your supposed BFF was in love with. And then once you did, you were a dick about her being mad at you. To get over the trauma I’m feeling now, I think I’m going to…

YESSSS!!!! fuck night at the roxberry...THIS IS WHERE THAT HADDAWAY SONG CAME FROM!

Remember when Sandra Bullock dated Ryan Gosling? I do, because I’m old.

Sure! If you don’t like pooping.