Melbourne is insane. The psychic is my favorite because she’s total brings the fear with her eyes! I love the lawyer because her shoe collect ain’t nothing to fuck with!

I realize now that last sentence sounds super snarky. It totally wasn’t meant that way! I was on a conference call and unsuccessfully multitasking. :/

I actually find it useful to take one near the beginning of a long run, and then every 3 miles or so. BEFORE I get tired, though. All the experts say that if you get tired, it’s too late. I trained with the chews. I don’t like gels or goo. I might suggest making it more structured and proactive, instead of a reactive…

CONGRATULATIONS! Christ, you’re fast AF! I run a 10 min/mile but I don’t think I’ll be able to for 13 miles.

It’s this coming Saturday! What about you? Sore? Get a massage? Drink lots of beer? :)

This is not super scary (to me) but it is 100% true.

Deary, I just sooooo want this to have reaaly happened. Please don’t disappoint.

My longest run before my first half was 15km (just under 10 miles). It was tough but I was fine! Race day gives you a little extra something that you didn’t think you had. Have fun!!!

I had that *exact* same thought reading this! Like, if I’m not enjoying it, I’m going to tell you what you can do differently, but guys are soooooo into making women cum that sometimes I have to gently tell them that its just not going to happen right then, but I still enjoy having sex with them. But I also live in a…

Wait. Is this weird? Because if I was sailing with Gussie Katt and shit started to go down, I would grab her and my purse and haul ass to safety in a flash.

Or a Lexapro pamphlet :(

http://www.amazon.com/GrandeLASH-Eye… totally works on eyebrows! my mom has decent brows for the first time in years

I broke up with a friend who, as I was crying from being exhausted by the sexual harassment I was receiving in a muslim country on vacation, told me “you should be happy you’re getting attention, no one is even paying attention to me”. Fuck her and her fucking face.

A lot of actors lie about their age and other things (height is standard). But only women get called upon it. They all do it really and just blame it on the press if there are mistakes. I honestly don’t blame an actor saying they are 3 years younger if it gets them a job and income. Hardly a crime IMO. Not like it is…

You can do it. Just don’t go out too hard. It is easy to get carried away in the excitement of the race, and you will feel fantastic for the first 7 or 8 miles. Then you will pay for it. I learned that lesson the hard way.

But we will, GarbageCat. We will. Look at all this persuasive power. I feel like I’m being sucked into the cult. And I like it.

If I’m paying 31 million buckaroos for my wedding, it must include Idris Elba interrupting the proceedings, declaring his everlasting love for me and marrying me on the spot while David Bowie sings “Life on Mars.” For starters.

One thing all my friends told me when I was training for my first half was that I didn’t need to run 13.1 before the race. My longest run was 11.5.

Staaaahhhp. I’m running my first half next weekend and I’m starting to contemplate a full next year.

I feel like I’ve completely embraced the whole “terrible neon colors” thing. I want all my running clothes to look as obnoxious as humanly possible. I want the MOST obnoxious color shoes, the MOST obnoxious color tank, etc. Neon yellow is a good candidate, but my shoes right now look like a bright orange highlighter.…