Thanks. My biggest surprise about the comments is how many people stripped Allen of his agency in the process of empathizing with him.

If I told my husband that I wasn't comfortable with a particular sexual act and his response was "that is such a turn-off", I might never have sex with him again.

"reward her with praise"

Also good advice - if you're looking to introduce novelties in the bedroom, make sure your partner is up to give it a try before spending $299 on that real leather whip with matching handcuffs.

Thank you, Tracy. I have to admit I am not always 100% behind some of your articles, but I am showing this to people the next time they harangue as to why my husband and I are childless-by-choice. This pretty much covers it from my husband's side. (I worked in child care centers, was a baby sitter and was an active…

this is a huge problem for stay at home mothers. If you stay at home because of some self righteous reason that you sacrifice for the kids and are a better woman than working mothers you'd better not have any outside the home interests except mommy related ones. You'd better be on message all the time and on the altar…

Definitely true — to a degree. It's certainly possible to avoid this happening, but lots of people fall into the trap.

just thinking about it this hard probably means you will be ok. you and partner pinwheel are obviously good eggs and will be wonderful. Have a kitten.

PREACH. So many of my friends seem to make their mothering decisions based entirely on a mix of guilt and fear and not based on what they want/think is best for the kid. I have not had that problem so far, which leads to awkward conversations like:

"They go on to lay out that we can't badmouth our kids. We can't say we love our children more than our spouse."

My husband left when I got pregnant, (Yup, even after we were trying to get pregnant). I cannot imagine telling my child that. His dad loves him, is not a great dad but tries his best, and I want my son to love him. Talking terrible about him would only make me look horrible in the long run. Kids don't stay kids…

Not to mention that the kids are a mess because they can't sleep without mom or dad and don't know how to do anything, including entertain themselves.

This is so true. I have seen so many smart, accomplished women turn into the kind of person who will not let their child go to people's houses for play dates until they fill out a checklist form. (REAL SAMPLE QUESTION:HAVE ANY OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS BEEN ARRESTED FOR A SEXUAL OFFENSE?) They take their big brains and…

An acquaintance posted a link to this article on Facebook, and a friend commented that she totally disagreed. I thought the article made sense, but said nothing because this friend's emotional life revolves around her children, and her marriage recently ended in divorce (although probably not because of her parenting…

This. Yes, it is possible to maintain your relationship/ your social life /your outside interests. BUT it will take more significant and sustained effort, and even so, some things will fall by the wayside. So you have prioritize the things in your life that are worth that effort, and be willing to let go of the…

When I was internet dating 90% of the men I dated who had kids blamed attachment parenting for their divorce. They did not want the "family bed," they wanted to leave their kids with babysitters once in a while, they wanted a house where the child was not in charge. Granted, this is just the version of attachment…

I think my marriage will be okay, it's my sanity I'm worried about. I'm quickly realizing how little I know about babies. So the next few years are going to be... interesting.

I totally feel you on this. I am pregnant with my first after several false starts (like 4 miscarriages), and my husband and I discussed at length how we would balance our home life with our personal interests. It's not even like we came up with any solid plan or conclusions through all that discussion, but we both…

If I do get a divorce because my spouse can't handle having a kid, should I tell my kid that she's the reason daddy's moving out? I'm asking for a coworker who did just that. Then her ex lost visitation after he told the kid that he wished she never existed (she's 6).

Sort of related to this, Elisabeth Badinter published an article a while back about how these new types of helicopter/attachment/earth mama parenting - but particularly motherhood - are undoing the advances we've achieved in the last 50 years and basically holding women back but more perversely, through guilt and the…