I couldn't even do that. I'd just be staring at her in awe for half the show and freaking the poor woman out.

Crazy shifts were the worst for me in terms of health. Not only did I end up getting very little sleep, my eating pattern was shot to hell. Why cook if you can buy a cheap chippy on the way home when you're too knackered after a nine or thirteen-hour shift of being yelled at by morons? Plus, earning very little put a…

I just want to sit at his feet with my chin on my hands and soak up how wise he sounds.

I remember my mum *screaming* at me down the phone for no real reason, on countless occasions, while I tried to move away from my embarrassed friends so they wouldn't keep hearing it. This was from my mid-to-late teens right into my early twenties. If I hadn't been able to ignore her calls it would have sucked. To be…

I think this is terrible, to be honest. It's using something that should be useful and fun - a gift, usually, unless the kid bought it themselves - to control and helicopter your child. If my mum was able to pull that when I was younger it would have ruined my life because my parents were very abusive towards me, and…

Maybe he's annoyed because she's chewing his face.

I actually liked this one and the other one with an air pump. They're not taking it all hugely seriously, unlike the awful others with their guns and plastic wrap malarkey.

What is with all the gun ones?! Is it some loopy "I'll protect you" bullshit?

This is possibly irrelevant, but why do so many pregnancy photos feature people in bare feet? I hate bare feet. Feet are gross. In what other situation would you be parading around on camera with no shoes or socks? Stop showing me your nasty feet, people.

I remember the UK campaign a few years ago to get tampons etc exempted from VAT (Value Added Tax, it's like sales tax but at a standard rate and included in the cost of things automatically most of the time). That was great, but they still get pricey when it's every month (please no one mention the Diva Cup, we can't…

I clicked on the reddit link and he's added an edit to thank everyone for getting him on the reddit front page. WHY IS HE PROUD?

When I was a kid we lived next to a family with an adorable dog. Lovely, friendly little guy. He got a lot of attention and even my dog-hating mum liked him. Then a year or two after they moved in, they had a baby. The poor dog was stuck in a tiny, concreted-over back garden for up to 14 hours a day and this is in…

Who just randomly starts doing push-ups in the middle of a shoot?

Well, I meant I didn't think anyone on Jezebel is excusing her. That's pretty disgusting.

The Daily Mail writes a lot of bollocks, and I wouldn't be surprised if that part was just made up. However, if Mark is basing his story on the DM article (something Jezebel has to stop doing because the DM is a hateful rag, but I digress) he's kinda obliged to put it in. I don't think anyone is excusing her, shameful…

Reading the Kanye story, all I could think was that decent humans already thinks it's awful to have paparazzi drones and that level of invasion anyway. You don't need to try and turn this into a horror movie where your baby is in constant danger; everyone already agrees with you for once. Well, except the paparazzi…

A few commenters even defended the prick. Thankfully they were downvoted to hell, they were using the same justifications as he did. I'm glad she left him.

I've had it since October and love it. I get the odd skin breakout - like my body's having pretend PMT - and very occasional bleeding, but I've only had one actual period. It's done nothing for all the extra facial hair that started appearing when I was 26, but hey ho. I'm really happy with it. Also, when you get it…

I used to work for a mobile phone company. The amount of people who called saying "my child was playing with my phone and now it's locked/broken/covered in something sticky". Apparently advising them that a £500 phone wasn't a damn toy was poor customer service, but what else do you say to stupid? I bet they had a few…

They spent the night in jail, one of them's in rehab now. As for the other one... poor, poor Jimmy.