for your consideration: my baby shower invitation

1. If I ever offered you a bite of my sandwich and you refused.

I think I could make a better movie poster on Photoshop, and I do not know how to use Photoshop.

It was Batman, with Michael Keaton.

This is why I love Jimmy Fallon. It's harmless fun. No one is insulted. No one is belittled. It's just silly games to make people laugh.

I think these are the same reactions people had while reading the book.

Ugh, I was so dearly hoping that the sentence "Orlando Bloom Throws a Punch at Justin Bieber" would end with "... prompting Bieber to reexamine his life, decide to retreat from public life, and donate 99% of his assets to reputable charities serving disadvantaged children and baby animals." Sadly, this appears not to…

We're fostering two, right now!

Spread on half a flour tortilla, folded, microwaved for 15 seconds. Tortillas have always been my bread. Add peanut butter and banana if you're feeling too thin.

Sobbing while eating Nutella on a tortilla. Damn you PMS!

Never been proud to say I'm from Ann Arbor before now

Did you read that thing about how she and the Hound are BFFs that have a secret language? And how the girl who plays Sansa adopted one of the direwolves? And the adults all sound cool too. They sound like the most fun TV show cast ever. Like, the opposite of The View.

Especially since they had worked together.

Never forget.

If they really want to shock us they should take a picture of how much it costs to make these things compared to the retail price.

WHY ARE DAFT PUNK SHOOTING PEOPLE?

I'm hoping they'll give us some more District flavor with the films that the first person perspective of the books couldn't. I wouldn't mess with the Lumber District - those folks have axes and they know how to use them!

no matter how civilized I'd like to be, sometimes I can't help but absolutely revel in the cheated spouse absolutely soaking the cheater financially. I understand relationships are complex and never what they seem, but I've seen The First Wives Club wayy too many times to not relish in a settlement like this. …

It's probably time to bring back the ladies' Victorian bathing machine.