I exercise everyday and I swear it makes me look younger!

This is all over my feeds, like the universe wanted to give me more reasons to hide and block more people. And the whole a mother does x, y and z professions for free is so fucking insulting on so many levels to so many people...

You know, I saw the NSF tag, and I still wasn't prepared for that photo.HOW DOES ONE TWEET THAT ACCIDENTALLY?!?! Somebody's getting all kinds of fired.

Today's entries also include the man who stuck the jumprope in his penis.

I shall file this under 'things I just need to accept happened and don't need to think too deeply about' because I just.... can't.

I'd love to have been there for that Chef's interview:

This is a movie waiting to happen. "Big Night", but for pot.

Daryl Hannah once ate at my families restaurant! Its more surprising because it was in a small town in Canada. And she's not really a celeb anymore. but whatever. DONT TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME. SPLASH RULES.!

The idea that anyone doesn't know who Tom Petty is makes me want to cry. I learned of his existence when I was 10 (32 now) and have been a fan ever since.

Thanks, Obama!

So we will all dress like the Munchkins? Ok, I'm down with that.

My husband and I have a job for you:

Is French Montana a person or a place? I'm thinking about dating Denver Colorado... It's not the best place, but it's just a couple minutes away, so convenient for a booty call.

Little kitler is slightly menacing, and not because of the mustache. He's got his musclebound goon on the left, making sure Jetta doesn't escape. "We got you where we want you, see? No escape. Play nice and you might just live through the night." I smell a jewel heist.

I lost my 12 year old spaniel last weekend, and on his last night, when he was in distress, our new kitty watched over him like ... like a hospice kitty. We were so touched.

can we think of it as a Charlie Chaplin cat, with his hat cocked jauntily over one eye?

Obligatory Bill Murray Ghostbusters rant:

Did anyone else somehow not see the dog for a whole ten seconds or so?

Do they have a little gay son?!