Well thanks for clarifying! For anyone else reading, I didn’t need backup for this conversation; I had a perfectly reasonable conversation with YNMD, and moved on. That’s not what stalking or harassment are.

Well, obviously it’s up to you how you choose to react to whoever showed you. I just wanted to draw the distinction for you between GOMI and CLT, for our sake and yours.

I did miss your last response to Gideon. I did see your apology for the Pinkham thing but again, I think you’re missing the point and it’s really not acceptable to tell people who have been stalked, harassed, and hurt by someone that their level of vitriol is counterproductive to you. Not for you to say. I wanted to…

She is posting all over about this and conflating GOMI with CLT, complaining that no one ever just said it to her face, and when someone comes to correct her and say it to her face, it’s stalking? Okay. How dismissive and denigrating to people who have been stalked on kinja. It is not stalking to reply to someone when…

Alright a few things, because I’ve read this whole thread and believe it or not, I’m not interested in a pile on here.

Look I know it must SUCK to find out people don’t like you, but CLT is not GOMI. You came up on CLT because you were part of two ridiculous threads on Tracy Moore pieces - she’s the main target of those and you were part of the general madness, they don’t follow you with interest or anything. That’s a seriously unfair…

.... You said it was as simple as men wanting maternity leave, so yes....

.....Men. But it’s ludicrous to pretend that it’s as easy for them as walking into their bosses office and saying “I’m taking six weeks paternity leave the end.” It took women over 20 years to get to this point which is still so far from where we need to be. A stance that’s slightly more in touch with reality would be…

I did not, in any way, claim they were. But in this case, they are both being affected by patriarchal gender roles that are enforced through losses of income.

How? Explain to me how.

Right, but holding individual men accountable for it while jeopardizing their livelihood and the livelihood of their families is the exact same thing as saying women don’t get maternity leave because they simply don’t take/want it.

Be mindful that “provider” role is still very culturally relevant for men, and taking/demanding paternity leave can have serious negative impacts on their careers, just as it does for women.

Ooooh okay well then a) she has no right to demand they be destroyed and b) she’s not at all on the hook for any decisions he makes with them in the future.

That’s batshit.... but then at the bottom of this article it mentions that her ex wants to keep her frozen embryos from being destroyed in case she wants to have another baby... what then? I feel like she has a right to control her DNA, right? And certainly she can’t be on the hook for child support for any babies…

First, I totally respect this opinion/boundary and if you don’t want to get into this further you absolutely don’t have to because I think people have been pretty shitty to you here.

So, this list is great, but what it doesn’t seem to have is the corporate culture around paternity leave, specifically. I know for a fact that the work/life culture in Silicon Valley tech companies makes it such that fathers often end up not taking leave, even though it’s technically available.

Again I think you’re missing the point. You weren’t comparing ranges of seats but that’s what people are reacting to in terms of wine. I don’t think anyone is saying that spending money on wine is snobbery, it’s claiming that only cost = quality and doubling down on that by saying people who like cheaper wines are…

Buuuuut I also don’t think that those who can afford great sports tickets or whatever then say that the midrange seats that other people enjoy actually aren’t good.

I mean, I hate wine so I’m probably the last person to understand the nuances of this discussion. I’m a beer girl, meaning that I drink Blue Moon and Lemon Shocktop, and realize that objectively I have terrible taste.

I think you’ve totally missed the point of people’s annoyance, but this is a beautiful response to the dots so I’m appreciating it in a vaccuum.