No house numbers, so you have to pick up your mail at the post office?  I presume that means that if your house catches fire you have to bring the fire to the fire house too.

How can you criticize a guy who is always pulling for his teammates?

Shick was hired by Grand Canyon University

And that kick was also tipped, wasn’t it?

I think he should quadruple down and recreate the game. Invite Bears fans to the field one night, have some of those fans dress as “rowdy” Philly fans, pay Al Michaels to announce, and only take a kicker who makes the kick 20 times in row.

One thing they ought to do is stop fucking worrying about recreating the situation from last year. They’ve managed to make this A Thing that we’re all going to have to deal with for years.

Ahhh, so it's understandable Fox thought Tyrus was good for what ailes them.

Scoring in a World Cup is personal as much as it is for the benefit of the team. Mallory Pugh scored the eleventh goal, and it was her first ever goal in a World Cup (in her first World Cup game). Alex Morgan tied a USWNT record. It’s always a big deal to score in a World Cup, and these players are allowed to…

No need to pad the score against the Thai. 

Simple: spoon or fork up some of their meal and go: “Choo choo train pulling into the station... Open up! CHOO CHOO!”. If the patron turns away and/or spits up the food, you know they weren't into it. Otherwise, you just earned that 20%!

Bike riders are easily the worst. Fuck those clowns n their Lance Armstrong cosplay outfits all bombing down the rail trail at a whopping 15 mph like they’re training for the Tour so they can go to the craft brewery later and sit around in their too-tight shorts trading Strava readings while complaining that the IPA…

This sounds like the inspiration for a Chris Simpsons drawing

No, here’s what you do: you wait until your barista is facing you, then you take out your money; you fold it into a long, narrow slip; you very slowly slide it behind their ear, and say “thank you” in a slow manner so they know you appreciate them.

Why not just selfie yourself doing it and post it to the chain’s Twitter/FB/IG to make sure you get noticed, dangnabit! And don’t forget to hashtag: #Tipping #KeepTheChange #LookAtMe #INeedRecognitionForTheSmallestThing #IfTheyDon’tSeeMeTipThemItDoesn’tCount #PayAttentionToMePlease #StupidQuestions

Dear Salty,

Why is this loser paying such close attention to everybody else and deciding what’s okay and not okay for them to do? Maybe the taproom should kick the LW out for being such a downer all the time. This is hands-down the dumbest letter yet.

I don’t have to pee, I just get drunk on the power of inconveniencing so many people at once.

Maggie Haberman approves this comment

This woman is clearly very economically anxious.  

I didn’t go to the game. You didn’t go to the game.